Synopsis
I hunt witches for a living, what more could you need to know?
Description
Hi. The name's Hansel and that's about all you need to know. I'm a twenty-eight year old male with green eyes and brown hair. For a living, I hunt witches. Of course, I get paid a pretty penny for my work. But I don't travel alone. You see, I have a sister, Gretel, who I do everything with. Ever since our parents died, we've stuck together.
I'm really not much of a talker. That's really my sister's role. I'm just the muscle. I stand five-foot ten-inches tall. I'm a pretty average guy. I try to eat well and work out daily to keep fit. Shoe size is a ten, if that means anything to you.
Well, ummm… yeah. I got nothing.
Personality
Jeez, you're really pushing this whole "profile" thing on me, aren't you?
I'm really not one to talk much about myself, let alone talk much at all. I guess, if I had to list my personality, I would say I'm brutally honest. It can be a bad thing. Sometimes I say something the wrong way and it rubs people the wrong way. I'm also easily bored. Not trying to piss you off but if you can't keep my attention, I'm not interested. I'm also not much of a talker. I'm really quite shy too, especially around women. I don't know what it is but when I'm around them I get all tongue-tied. Lastly, I'm stubborn. Very stubborn.
I'm not that smart but I know how to survive, which makes me come across rather intelligent. Reading isn't really my thing and big words can baffle me. I prefer to be alone or with just my sis. I get extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and I have a hard time settling in.
Generally pretty calm, I have been known to lose my cool. Usually just results me in doing something stupid. I'm really good at doing stupid things. And I mean really good. Like this one time I tried to explain to this bar patron the difference between a new witch and an old witch. I told him about how you have to check them, thoroughly, and well, apparently, that wasn't a very good idea. Pissed his lady friend off. I was coated in beer and the next thing I knew, I was kissing pig shit. It was really infuriating. I was trying to save their lives and all they wanted to do was give me the boot. They could have just asked. Actually, looking back on it, I think they did. Subtly though. I don't do subtle. I just don't get the cues….
//professional rambler when intoxicated//
Equipment / Abilities
equipment & weapons
I carry a lot of stuff on me. I have a gun, several knives, a chain, and my backpack that contains a lot of miscellaneous things like rope, bear traps, flasks, and books. I have some money stuffed in there too.
abilities & skills
Being a witch hunter, I have to know a thing or two about witches. I'm also a hunter so I'm naturally good in the woods. I can do the whole "tracking thing" and I'm also pretty good at trapping and fishing. Killing? Heh, that's second nature to me. I'm not too bad at cooking and I have pretty steady hands so I know how to patch people up (basic medic knowhow), should that be necessary. I'm good at navigating and traveling. I also know a lot about planets -- which ones are safe to eat and which ones you should avoid. I'm just your average hunter. I know the land, the creatures, and how to kill witches.
senses & survival
I have really good hearing. Nose isn't the best, but that's Gretel specialty. I can hear things and she can smell them. Since we are accustomed to dark areas, I have really good night eyesight.
limitations & weaknesses
I'm a diabetic. I have been ever since I was ten. I have to give myself injections or I'll die. My need for these injections rarely come at convenient times. I do believe I also mentioned this earlier but... I am a reckless, stubborn bastard at times. I don't always... think. *shrug*
History
My parents raised my sister and I rather prime and proper. Too bad they died when we were ten. We witnessed the whole thing too. Father shooed us into the woods. We, being a we bit curious, decided to leave our hiding spot and see what was happening. Sure enough, we watched a man lop off our father's head and a hoard of people burn my mother alive. Horrified, Gretel (she was always a bit wiser than I) yanked me away. We ran and ran and ran. Finally landed at a house in the woods. It was a quaint little cottage but it was such a bad idea.
You know when your parents tell you "Don't talk to strangers?" Listen. Fucking listen.
We entered the old ladies house and the next thing we do, we were her slaves. Gretel was forced to chop wood and I was forced to eat candy and get fat.
Why?
The old gag wanted a "plump boy" and a "strong girl." She never told us why. She didn't have to. She had some pictures of her children tacked on the wall. They looked like us, sort of.
Enough was finally enough. I was constantly getting sick and Gretel was looking more like a man by the day. It was time we change our fate and get the hell out of there. Gretel took the lead and I followed.
After killing the old lady (we later discovered she was a witch), Gretel and I just went about our own merry way. We never turned back. Killing then ignited a flame in us that we wouldn't extinguish. We were born hunters, witch hunters.
Extra
My full name is Hans John Jaeger. It translates to " God is Gracious" and "Hunter." Hansel is a variant of Hans and John, hence the nickname Hansel. Jaeger is a German surname that means hunter or huntsman. I find it appropriate that I, Hans John Jaeger, am a witch hunter.
I am ambidextrous, meaning I can use both hands. This is an important trait for me as I can readily fight with either hand. I've also been told I have girly handwriting. I blame Gretel for that.
Odd fact, but I have horrid balance. I cannot walk across a log to cross a stream. That's a problem because I'm fearful of water. I also hate candy.
My favorite color is red. Favorite food is steak. Favorite thing to do is hunt witches.
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