Scraps of Memories

[MoonKissedFlower]

Scraps of Memories

This is the journal of Sydney Mackenzie.
She can't afford a real journal so she writes on whatever
she can find, scraps of trash most of the time.


You can find her here

[MoonKissedFlower]

I had that dream again. The ones about the monsters. And that boy.
I seem to be having the dream more and more now a days. I can't get it out of my head. Those things, the way they destroyed the city. The media, the government, they say it was all movie stunts. It wasn't. If it was i would have gotten money for my leg and back, but more than that, I wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place.

And that boy. I could see the fear in his eyes. That was real. You couldn't have acted that way.

I find myself looking for him more and more. I tried asking the doctors, anyone about the monsters. They just look at me like I'm crazy. But that boy. He knew the truth. I don't know if I'll ever find him, or even if he survived. But I hope I do run into him. Maybe he can help me.

I escaped from one hell, and found myself in another. By the time I got out of that one other worldly monsters wreak havoc on my life. I wonder if I'll ever find peace of mind. Probably not. No one want's a broken girl.

[MoonKissedFlower]

Of course. It's always when you stop looking for something that you find it. Rather, someone. Although now that I found him I'm not sure what to do. It's as if he doesn't remember any of It. I know it's him! I'd never forget those piercing red eyes, even if he only lets the one show now.

Well, even if he doesn't remember. I do. Whatever happened that day was important, I can just feel it. I've got to stay with him. I feel like he might be the only link I have to whatever crazy event might take place.

Besides, it's nice to have some company for once. I think we have a lot in common, even if looks would say other wise. He's a sweet guy, a true gentlemen. I never thought I'd meet one of those, not after the hell I've been through.

But I caught that grin, lopsided as it was, and that joy my mere presence seemed to spark in his eye. I liked seeing that. I liked being the one to put it there. It wasn't that sick and twisted look I used to see on dad's face. It wasn't a look of disgusting want and wretched thoughts. It was a simple, honest happiness i think. Maybe, maybe he can help me find my faith in the world again. Only time will tell.

For now all i know is that Devin is really nice. I think I like running around with him.

[MoonKissedFlower]

I think something is wrong with me. Gettin jelous over another woman simply because she came in and was hanging on Devin. Honestly I barely know the man! But...

I dont know. I just feel like ther eis some kind of connection there. And it turns out, that girl wasn't any body anyway! So i had nothing to freak out about.

After all the crap i've been through. After everything my father and that other damn man put me through I never thought I'd be able to get close to someone again, emotionally or physically, let alone another guy. I've helped people in the past, as soon as they go for the hug or handshake I take off. No contact. None. It brings back those old memories where i want to scrub at my skin till its raw.

But Devin... He's different. I can't explain it and that scares me, quite a lot actually. His first hug surprised me, I almost screamed. But then, I slept beside him, I hung onto his arm... Why doesn't he scare me?

He put his arm around me, pulled me closer. I thought my heart was about to break threw my ribcage. But It wasn't beating so fast because I was scared, It was because I was nervous... I liked it. Then his head was resting against mine and I liked that even more, feeling real affection from someone instead of that bitterness I'm so used to. It felt real.

I even kissed his nose... I'm not sure why, maybe it was just to get rid of the topping i had put there, but I hope he didn't mind.

I'm not entirely sure where this will all go. Maybe it'll be nice for a while before it all goes to hell like it normally does. BUT, if something were to last, I think I'd like it to be with someone likeDevin. I've never met someone I liked more. I like being with him.

Is It wrong that I am hopeing he'll put his arm around me like this more often?