memoirs to my mother

[Xavirne]

This shall serve as the journal location for my roleplay character Devin L. VonHellens.



You can find him here:
http://www.wtfrpg.com/forum/showthre...e-New-Frontier

[Xavirne]

Late Summer, Twenty-Eleven

Mother,

It has been hard not knowing whether or not you're alive and well. I like to believe, in the deepest most sacred part of my heart, that you are. I can see you smiling over me, pushing me on to be the best man that I could ever be. But I'm afraid I've let you down, mother. Bitterness and remorse has hardened my so-called heart. I can't feel for anything. Or, better yet, when I do, all I feel is pain and sorrow.

Suffering. Is that meant to be my fate? To endure the words of tyranny and brutality so that others may lift up their spirits and live in peace? Thus far, I have survived on this belief that I am capable of helping others. But mother, I'm afraid of what will happen when I find out the truth behind my lost past. Am I truly worthy of living this life? Or am I just a mistake?

I wish that my life would gain a purpose. That people would see me rather than walk right through me. My invisible life is meaningless. With not a friend in the world, I fear that my demise is near. I cannot take the pain anymore. My heart weeps to be held and cared for. Why must I wear my head high and my face strong so that others can live? Why can't I find someone to call my own? Friend or even a foe. Someone would be nice. My sanity is on the brink of disaster. I need a hero mother. If not a hero, a sign. Please, mother, tell me you still love me.

-Devin

[Xavirne]

Late Summer, Twenty-Eleven

Mother,

You won't believe who I crossed paths with! It was the woman. The woman that saved me years ago. Is it possible that angels do exist? How is it that, whenever my life is on the line, she shows up? Is she my guardian angel?

Did you hand pick her, mother? You must have. She is everything I could ever imagine an angel to look like. Her pale skin and eyes are truly a gift from the Divine One. The smile that sweeps onto her face is something that causes my heart to flutter just a bit. Is this a bad thing? I like to think not. Perhaps, just once, I might find happiness. Sanity and peace. I shall cling to this woman as if she were you, mother. I won't lose her like I lost you. I swear, I shall protect her with my life.

-Devin