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"I'm okay.." I answered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. I sighed and looked into her eyes. "I've missed you, so much, Amy.."
"Uhm,"I furrowed my brow and rubbed the forehead,"Are we roommates? Classmates? I'm sorry... I don't know who you are.."
I stared at her, completely shocked. "You don't..." I let go of her hand. "You don't remember me?" I asked, and my heart sank. It felt like it shattered into a million pieces. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you.. I'll.. I'll see you later. I brought you this.. You left it in my house.." I handed her a necklace she always wore and I walked out. "Thank you." I said weakly to her parents, then I couldn't take it anymore. I turned away and rushed out of the hospital and I drove away. I had to pull over to cry. The love of my life doesn't remember me..
I was so confused. My parents came back in,"Who was she? What did I do?" Tears were brimming in my eyes and my father squeezed my hand,"Don't worry about it, honey, you just need to get better." My mother was crying. I couldn't really remember anything... I knew my parents and I knew who I was, but my entire life was fuzzy beyond that. I wanted to go to school to cook, that was my plan.
I went to my dorm and found the alcohol stash and I drank and then I went back to pills, taking a lot, but not enough to overdose. I sat in my bed, crying my eyes out. I haven't felt like this since my little brother died. Sydney came in and panicked when she saw me. "Honey, what's wrong?" She asked. "Amy.." I whimpered. "Oh my god.." Sydney sat with me. "Did she.." I shook my head quickly. "She doesn't remember me.."
The doctors explained to me that this was to be expected with my injuries and my coma.. That my memory should come back, possibly in phases and possibly all at once. My parents explained that I had gone to school and was let go due to money issues and that I was working a a chef when I was attacked. They wouldn't explain who the girl was.
"Everything is going to be okay Jez.." Sydney whispered, rubbing my back. "No it won't Sydney. It won't. She's the love of my life. I'm a spoiled rich girl who doesn't appreciate the little things in life. She wanted to start with a townhouse and I wanted a house, and I'm sure she thought I was just a spoiled rich girl. And she's right. I left her that night, both of us secretly angry." I hit my head with my hand. "I can't live without her.."
I was scared, so scared. The police came in to talk to me, and once they realized I didn't remember anything they simply filled me in on what had happened and what they found and what they were doing. They had the rape kit and the guest list and two young men in custody. I guess it was a start.
My grades started to fall considerably, and I went to go visit my parents. After I explained what happened, my mom hugged me. "I'm so sorry.. I had no idea I invited people that would do that.." I just went to the kitchen and made a sandwich, the first time I've eaten in a while.
After a week I began to heal to the point where I could go home, or at least back to my parent's house. I had to go back to the house I was staying in, the Parker's. My parents came with me and I walked through the door, my fingertips tracing along the surfaces of the walls. I stopped when I saw the young woman in the kitchen,"Hi."
I jumped in surprise, dropping my sandwich. "Oh." I said breathlessly, my heart clenching. "Hey." I bent down and quickly cleaned up the sandwich without looking up at her. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack..
"Uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you... I guess you weren't expecting to see me,"I said quietly, leaning in the doorway.
"No, I wasn't." I answered, putting the sandwich in the trash. I went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. "How are you feeling?" I asked.
"Still fuzzy, still not quite there,"I said watching her. Something stirred in my stomach when I saw her and I sighed,"Uhm, how did we know each other? Was it just through work? Do you work here?"
This was the question I had been dreading. "Um no.. This is my parent's house.. I got you this job." I sighed and took a long drink. "We were.. Partners. Romantically.." I said, not looking at her. "For a year." I added softly. I shook my head. "I gotta go." I said, walking passed her.
"Wait,"I said, reaching out and catching her by the elbow,"Why won't you talk to me?"
I stopped and I turned to face her. "Because it's too painful, Amy." I answered, looking her in the eyes. The eyes that used to show so much love for me, but now are dazed and confused.
"You don't think this is painful for me? I don't know who I am! Apparently I work here and I love you and I'm not going to school? My parents don't know who I am,"I said, shaking my head, sighing as it began to ache painfully,"I've got to go..."
"I'm sorry.." I said softly. "I wish I could help.. I really do." I watched her leave, then I left also, going to rehearsals. I'm in another play, Romeo and Juliet. I play Juliet. Sydney made me audition to try and get my mind off of everything.
We packed my room and Mrs. Parker told me that if I needed anything all I needed to do was ask. I was so confused. I this girl loved me so much why wasn't she supporting? How could she just drop me like I died? If I was important wouldn't she try to help me get my memory back? I guess I wasn't all that important. I stepped into my old room, looking around. My phone was in my box of things and I picked it up, scrolling through pictures. We were together, and we looked happy. I tossed it to the side and sat on my old bed.
As I sat in bed after rehearsals, I scrolled through the old pictures of us, but I couldn't bring myself to delete them. I don't want to forget her. Maybe it's best if she doesn't remember me.. Was she truly happy with me?..
I don't know what we were all expecting to have happen, I just kind of sat around my parent's house, which was about a six hour drive from the city. I watched tv and cleaned... I cooked now and again, but I just felt empty..
"So.. She doesn't work here anymore?" I asked my mom. She shook her head sadly. "No.. She went to go live with her parents." I sighed and left the house. I need to get away. It's the weekend... No rehearsals.. I have to. I packed up a few things, then I drove towards the cabin in the woods that me and Amy had went to.
I was lonely and lost... All my old friends had gone to school, I didn't have work or school... Just me. I began to heal, but I still felt odd, I would throw up on schedule, got dizzy and tired a lot. IT just... Wasn't right.
As I was on my way to the cabin, I saw a florist. I stopped and got a bouqet of red roses. I asked mom where Amy's new address was and she texted it to me. I made a card that said I don't know if this will mean anything to you.. But I'll always love you until the last petal dies. -Jez But the truth was, hidden in the bouquet, there was a fake rose. So it'll never die. I wanted her to know that I still love her, even though she doesn't remember.
When the roses arrived I smiled and set them in a vase in my room, reading and rereading the note. Jez..."Jez,"I said out loud. It didn't ring any bells for me, but I felt like it should. My stomach twisted and I sat back. I had a checkup in a few days with my doctors, maybe I could see her?
I made it to the cabin and I set my stuff down, looking around.. The table where we had champagne while wearing lingerie.. I went up to the bedroom. The bed where we had the most amazing and passionate night.. I sat in the bed and looked around. It felt so empty.. So lonely.
I picked up my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I ound her name, hitting the call button.
I was about to go hiking when my phone rang. I picked it up and my heart almost stopped when I saw Amy's name. Did she get the roses? Is she going to tell me off for being disgusting or whatever? I slowly answered and brought it up to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hi, Jez?"I asked, rolling my lips together and looking up at my ceiling.
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