Ea's journal

[Gess Jahd]

Ea's journal

If you have got a hold of this book, I'm afraid you're in trouble. Or I am.
Either way I ask you most politely to burn this book without reading it since the things I jot down aren't good for anyone to read. I just have to get it out of my head so I don't have to think these things. I hope they will go away. It's a pain to find ballpoint pens so it'd better be worth it.
Finding this empty journal is a story for another day.

[Gess Jahd]

This is the very average story of a zombie apocalypse. We did something stupid, we broke the nature's ways and now we're paying for it. I admit that no-one knows what cause this outbreak to happen. If we get this thing cured somehow someday... I'm sure fingers will be pointed out here and there and accusations fly. Maybe a world war III sparks out. Human race never learns, you know?

I think this is what should've happened all in all. I hate people with only few exceptions. I like 'em better being mauled by the twisted reflections of theirselves. Actually... They are just like what people always are but without the sugar coating on top. I think I kind of like these zombies for how honest they are, hahahahah.

Honestly we should be worried about the cure mental wise. What if we get it done? It'll end up only in broken minds and dreams when lovers and relatives, friends and countrymen think their heads numb about it. They create sad illusions of locking others up, feeding them enough to keep them alive to the day of medication and saviour. I am sure some managed in that in the other continents but it was absolutely idiotic never the less.

It's sometimes hard to accept but we have to work with what we're given. End of that story.

[Gess Jahd]

Wednesday, 23rd lifeyear of mine

I should mark up the dates too but it'd be silly since no-one knows the real date anymore for sure. I guess Elite do, but I don't feel like popping by at a house of any of them and ask for a calendar. I'll just attach my writings to things that have had some meaning and if someone someday wants to find out the exact days they can count by themselves. I'm sure big events get marked up by someone who knows what date it is.

I really didn't have anything special to write about but sometimes it's so boring that I would like to scream. I don't miss people really, but I miss the options of what to do with your life. I miss being able to do funny plans about traveling to India to hike but that'd be very much interesting with all these zombie guys trotting around.

I said that I don't miss people and that's a bit off. I miss my parents every once in a while. I miss my kids too. See? I call them my kids even though I just kept these few orpheans alive and did my best to give them another beginning in the cruel reality. I haven't seen either of them in weeks and I'm quite sure both have something they're up to. I just can't bring myself to ask after them after the ceremony of freeing them. Hah hah.

I guess I'm already the city's lunatic with the isolation I practice but it doesn't really bother me at all. It just helps with keeping away from people. I'd love to hear though what they tell to newcomers about me when they arrive since first are polite for me too and after a week start avoiding me like the plague (it's actually interesting that we still keep having newcomers even though very rarely - I guess the people arriving now are very tough too?). I don't bite, I don't want to harm anyone. I just don't like the hysteria. And the "mindless sheep behaviour".

If I just had a bunch of cats it'd be purrrfect. See what I did there?

I'm doomed to insanity.

[Gess Jahd]

Thursday, 23rd lifeyear of mine

Another day, 24 new hours to spend somehow towards a goal unknown. No matter what it'll eventually be, I need a proper goal. Something far away in the future that also would feel realistical. I have to think about this more.

I noticed I mark up the week days in the journal even though they have no real meaning. I just one day had the feeling like you got on Tuesdays, the day after was really much like Wednesday too, so I decided to keep up with my own weeks. It helps you mental wise... You can say "I did this and this two weeks ago, on Monday" and it makes you feel like life is going somewhere.

I'm hearing crazy sounds from outside. It doesn't come from anywhere close by but it's so silent in here always, that this bothers me. It's already dark too so I feel restless. I'll go and see what's going on... If I never return, at least you know I worried for this city. Hahahaha.

P.S. It's not cool to break through a door even though I died. I'll stick around to haunt this library for ever and ever. Hahaha.

[Gess Jahd]

Saturday, 23rd lifeyear of mine

The noises from Thursday were really nothing. Just some grown ups fighting over for a bottle of beer someone found. I hope they all got diarrhea for making me worried with that. One really could make a fortune with looting for goods. I think anything would sell as people are very bored in general and wish to have their old life back as much as possible. Or well... The older people at least. I don't remember time before the infected at all. I remember the times of us living at home and me getting to play outside freely but I always knew there are bad things going on in the world and they were just kept feebly away. Stolen moments that are now only blurry to me.

The Elite are said to be up for something but no-one can say more precisely what it is. Someone had seen people of this part of the city to get in and out from the inner walls without being dragged there by the elite's royal guard as we call them (they're basically old soldiers and polices who got a chance to protect the elite and did it to get a little easier life and the contempt of normal citizens).

Things aren't still enough interesting for me though. I think I'll pick up to looting which no-one has done for ages. We're running out of basically everything - that's not any news but this time it's also making people restless. I have to try and map the close surroundings from the watch towers so I can start off carefully. If I manage to come back with reports of the infected activity and some goods, I might even start feeling that I'm doing something important with my life and for this city.