RESPONSE: I call the Santa hat! ...Come, children, sit on my lap. I am the man who breaks into your house and gives you candy that you ARE allowed to eat. I also watch you sleep and kiss your Mommies.
SCENARIO: You find yourself turned into a hand puppet.
"Ew. Did you check to see what date this raw milk expires?"
"Yeah, what happened?"
"I found a curd."
"Did you shake it?"
"No."
"It's the cream. The fat floats to the top."
"Oh, I just thought it was Bridgid's backwash the first couple of times."
"Wait, why didn't you say 'ew' when you thought that?"