[NEWS/DISC] Amanda Todd And Bullying

[joonsexual]

I'm sure, by now, the Amanda Todd's story is something we've heard either in passing or in full. And, all over the internet, there are words of kindness and support given to her family and words of condemnation and disgust directed at the aggressors.

This, however, is not why I created this thread. While my deepest sympathies go out to her family and loved ones, the purpose of this thread is not to go: Oh, poor girl! That's tragic!

We know and we understand that this is tragic. Most of the nation (sans a collective few) have come to view the issue as tragic and unfortunate.

Rather, I feel that the Amanda Todd's story opens up a chance for dialogue on the issue of bullying and why it happens. But, most importantly, why have we, as a society, done so little to discourage this type of behavior? I wanted to take some time to talk about her story (specifically) and the ideas in general.

For Amanda's story, I wanted to discuss the issue of: Why isn't there better education on internet protection and safety? Why haven't we better prepared our children to handle the dangers of online predators and such? And why is it that, within our society, there are still people who would place blame on Amanda—denying her the right to be acknowledged as a victim?

For the general discussion, anything can go. Personal story accounts—speculations of why it happens, how it affects people, and how it exists in various mediums. I wanted to offer a chance for people to share their thoughts and feelings on this matter.



To those who have not read or heard of the news, please refer to this article.

[Schizophrenic]

In my opinion, this problem is beyond control. It has escalated to such an insane rate and power that it would take something drastic to end it all. And when I talk drastic, I mean stuff that would violate the "freedom of speech" every American seems to be so fond of abusing. But basically, what I'm trying to say is that I see no end to this behavior - in fact, I believe it can only get worse.

Every year the ideas of compassion, respect and common decency are fleeting. It's the fact that you are more likely to find a disobedient and rude kid than you'll find a respectful and kind one. The age fifteen has become a whole different age group over the years. Compare your grandmother to this generations pre teens, even... compare yourself! The world is constantly changing, and in my eyes... this change just isn't good. Children are exploring their sexuality before they even understand the emotions behind it, they are experimenting with drugs and alcohol even younger now and they are being thrust forward into "maturity" whether they like it or not.

Fifteen is no longer fifteen.

Bullying has gone out of control, and I can only be thankful that I was bullied in the 90's instead of now. It just seems that nobody cares about one another anymore. And yes, I'm going to go ahead and say that modern television has played a part in this. As best put in "God Bless America", this is the "Oh no you didn't just say that!" generation. Everyone is too busy pushing buttons, being wild and "unpredictable" for a quick and easy laugh. Which means less people are thinking before they speak. Less people are paying attention to the weight of the words that are spewed out of their ignorant mouth.

It's easy to make a comment about that fifteen year old boy's puberty ridden body, it's easy to call the pretty girl in class a slut. It's the "better you than me" mentality. And it's even worse when this kind of personality is infecting, spreading and dominating our schools. Because now, even the good one's at heart are being pressured into taking part in the group mentality. They aren't mocking you right now? You should mock who they mock and then maybe get a high five and a seat at lunch out of it.

I've bullied.
I've been bullied.

Neither of them feel good.

But then again, when I bullied as a child, it was face to face. Everyone knew what I was doing. I was accountable. When a good student, or a teacher saw I was beating up boys in the playground they ran and told a teacher. The teacher would punish me. My parents would punish me. My conscience would punish me.

But can we punish these internet bullies? Can we punish every student in a school wide bullying epidemic? Not everyone who deserves to be punished will / can face punishment. This is supposedly when conscience should kick in... but as you can tell, it seems modern day America is severely lacking one.

[Xavirne]

I'm on the same page as you, Duke. And so are my parents and my grandparents. I would love to post more but I'm in class now. If I think of it later, I'll elaborate on my thoughts.

[joonsexual]

SCHIZOPHRENIC: While I agree that bullying has become more elaborate (technology has definitely played a hand in making the act more "sophisticated"), I don't believe that the issue is somehow "beyond" us. And I don't share in the belief that bullying is unsolvable.

And I think, in general, it's easy for us to put blame on society. It's the society that has failed us. It's the world that hasn't given us enough nurturing and care, etc. And, granted, in part, society hasn't made it easier for us to live in this world. It sets up arbitrary rules for beauty, for social acceptability, etc. It definitely streamlines what is okay and, alternately what isn't. But, at the same time, just pointing fingers at this nebulous character doesn't do much for us—for anyone.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is: I disagree with this position of "the problem is too big, there's not much we can do" and then, the implicit statement is: therefore, we do nothing.

I can't accept that as an answer and while, logically, I know there's not much we can do to solve the problem—to prevent it from happening—we still have to try. As adults, we're more equipped to handle and to understand what is right and what is wrong (I'm not going to open the debate to a discussion on what is truly right/wrong or how we can't know what is truly right/wrong—lol, fun as it may be, this isn't really the time). Teenagers haven't achieved that particular level of understanding yet (despite what we might think. Their brains and capacity to always fully understand the consequences of their actions just isn't there).

I guess, what I'm trying to say (and not articulating it very well because I'm hungry and haven't really woken up yet, lol), is: We can punish them and we can limit it. Like in Korea, the issue of bullying (online) is beyond reason. Bullying in Asia (Korea/Japan/China) is something of a much LARGER problem. If you don't know anything about it, please, I encourage you to read about it. It's really, really shocking. We require every user to login with an identification number (in Korea, it's the Korean SSN) when going on the internet. They monitor who says what and, should incident arise, it's easier to figure out who is responsible and so forth. Arguably, using a SSN is rather difficult (identity theft, etc), but a similar system can be put in place. And, I just feel that cyber bullying is so much worse than in-person bullying.

People separated by a wall of anonymity are bolder in their decisions. They use the mindset: Well, they don't know me and I don't know them so... it's okay for me to be an ass to them. I also feel that our current culture encourages a type of behavior that says: I am who I am. Love me for me—no matter what. I hate it when people say things like that—especially when it's an embracement of negativity and immorality.

I would go on with this, but I'm getting kind of lost and crazy and I don't even know if I make sense anymore. I'm so fucking tired and need lunch/breakfast/coffee.


DUKE: I do think that the western stigma of disciplining a child needs to be reeducated. I understand the argument that it's a slippery-slope. At what particular point does discipline become outright abuse? It's hard to say. From a personal account, what my parents thought was fair punishment was, in my mind (and perhaps, in the minds of MOST westerners) abusive, wrong, and unsafe. I won't get into the details of my childhood (as there is a significant cultural difference and our understandings can never really be bridged), but I just wanted to illustrate how things can get problematic and while our cases turned out decently, that's not necessarily true for everyone else.

Moreover, the idea that bullies can be curbed by punishment is, I think, a belief that, while grounded in logic, has been empirically denied. In Asia, the situation with classroom bullying is severe. Corporal punishment of children does exist in Asia, but the problem hasn't seen much change. And even though I think kids need to be taught and raised with a stricter hand, I don't believe the lack of it is the only source of problem or the cause of it.





But, in general, I'm just playing advocates for everything, so we can generate discussions/etc. But I'm so glad we're talking about this (even though I was the one who made the thread) because bullying and the likes is something I feel rather strongly about. (: