This is the only place I can put my thoughts down unedited. No one knows me here. I'm safe.

I'm still stuck inside of my own head. My dad always wants me to go to him when I feel this way. I just don't know how much longer he will stand it. I feel like hes getting to the point of giving up on me.

I told him about how flat I am. I don't have many major down days but I'm never happy either.

He wants to keep me like this. He said it's a trade off I'll have to get used to. In order to be mentally stable, I have to give up my happiness.

I physically cannot cry.

And this is something I have to get used to?

Screw that. Screw everything.

I'm so sick of fighting.