[LIFESTYLE] Happiness — how do you achieve it?

[joonsexual]

HAPPINESS

---

It is the first sip of a just-right drink; it is the first taste of delicious, the first
feeling of incomparable sweetness. It is the first touch of lovers; it is the un-
intentional brushing of fingers and the gentleness of kisses. It is the sunrise
in the morning, the crispness of a good day. It is all the things that put a smile
to our faces.

The thread's concept is simple: Let's talk about being happy.


I wanted a space where we, as a community, could come together and talk about happiness by discussing articles we have read or documentaries we have seen. And, on a much smaller scale, I wanted to know what makes us, as individuals, happy.

Articles ;

• 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
• 22 Things Happy People Do Differently

Documentaries ;

• Happy

[joonsexual]

I made this thread a few months back (obvious from the time stamp).

At the time I made this thread, I wasn't necessarily unhappy so much as I was determined to find fault with the things and the people around me. There were so many things I found disagreeable and, over time, most of those things have become forgotten.


I wanted to push this thread/article back to the front page because I think everyone can benefit from the article. I mean, I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is (it's not really an excellent conductor for discussion), but I don't think it needs one. Maybe we can just talk about the things that we do when we're upset? Things or methods we rely on when we're not at our best?

[Xavirne]

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder. Those ideas might work for some but not for all as some of us thrive on those aspects. I, personally, find all those ideas to be a bunch of bull. It takes the life out of people. To be human, we are rotted with perfection and we are the inventor of the negative*. It's just who we are. Coping with that and making the best from that, that's where it really counts.

For me, happiness is in the eyes of those around me. If everyone around me is happy and laughing, I'm happy. I find my true happiness when I'm giving back to others. There's nothing better than touching the lives of someone else and expecting - nor wanting - anything in return.

Also kitties. They are just balls of happiness for me.

[Atsumaru]

This article will... in a very Nietzschean sense, make you rise above the rest of humanity. (if you don't know who Nietzsche is, google him) Whether you agree or disagree, there is a lot you can take from this article... It's a sentiment echoed in Fight Club (the movie) and the "tip" that struck me the most was to simply let things go... give up the need for control. There will still be some things you can influence, some things you can't... but ultimately you can never CONTROL anything, and recognizing that seems like a good idea.

@xav, what do you do if you can't make the people around you happy, no matter how hard you try? Do you abandon them? Do you take it personally and get defensive and angry?

[joonsexual]

XAVIRNE: I know you've hinted at the reasoning, but exactly why is the article "a bunch of bull?" I'm not really seeing the connection you're making when you bring up Burke's ideas.

But, on that tangent of thought, I would have to disagree. I don't believe that the value of a life is determined by the hardships suffered. I don't believe my life is any less valuable because I haven't endured forced starvation or gruesome brutalization. I also don't believe that because I suffered (and, in some cases, still suffer) from various medical maladies that my life is now, somehow, more "meaningful" than a healthy person's.

Rather, I feel that life is worth living because I want it to be so. I value my life because it is inherently worth valuing and because it is something that is entirely and wholly mine.

And, yes, kittens are delightful.


ATSUMARU: Now that you've mentioned it... it does give off that kind of feel. As for the whole Fight Club sentiment, I may need to re-watch the movie.

I found that particular tip rather interesting as well. Before this article (and even some time after), I always thought that people shouldn't really "go with the flow." Simply waiting and following events didn't sit well with me (why should I wait for my life to pass me by, etc). But, recently, I encountered an event in my life where, even if I tried fighting it, it wouldn't have done me any good. And, because I wasn't so hell-bound on making sure everything went my way or in a way I could agree with, I eased up. I slept better and I didn't get pissy randomly during the day.

But my favorite tips (and the ones that I try my hardest to adhere to—although I frequently fall short of meeting them) are the ones about criticism, complaints, and expectations.


STRUDE: It's true that putting all 15 things into practice (at once) seems rather ridiculous. It also seems rather impossible, but there's definitely a zen/Buddhist-quality to the advice offered. I know that the suggestions the article makes doesn't always work for everyone.

Not everyone will agree or believe in the things mentioned, but I think, for some people, the article can be enlightening.

And I'm glad that you bounced back from your situation! I was genuinely really disheartened for you (with you?) and I didn't know how to translate my support for you to stand up again! I've been in a similar situation and I know the really icky feeling of self-limiting talks. It's easy for other people, who haven't experienced it, to say things like: Well, you should know better than to think you're stupid! Just as it's always easier for someone who's not depressed to say: Don't commit suicide, it's stupid.

It's not like people don't understand those things. They comprehend it very well, but it's never a simple matter of black and white thoughts. /hugs.

[Xavirne]

I was simply pointing out the fact that not everyone will benefit from this article. Sure, the information is interesting, but I want to find happiness by my own means -- and a meaning that fits my life and happiness definitions.

We're all different and we all do, feel, believe, and behave differently.

[joonsexual]

XAVIRNE: Fair enough, happiness is a subjective state and varies from person to person. I was just curious as to why you had felt so negatively towards the article.

[joonsexual]

You know what makes me happy? Tazo Chai Tea Latte in the morning. It's all sweet and cinnamon-y. It just makes me feel good. Enjoying all the simple things. <3

[joonsexual]

22 Things Happy People Do Differently


I really, really like these self-affirming articles. I know that it is all "obvious" things, but I can safely bet that most of us don't do even a fourth of the things listed here.