TrySton's thoughts..

[TrySton-Chan]

just a bunch of random stuff some sappy, sad...ect so... yeah...

---------- Post added at 06:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:46 PM ----------

yes this is really sappy....(is that how you spell it?)
to my seme.....out there somewhere
You~

Because of you
my insecurities are lost
but my mind is off
concentration becomes an error
as my thought drift somewhere

Because of you
i feel safe in your arms
all concerns out of harm
some things i wish to say
but i push away

Because of you
i know this isn't natural
but factual
we'd be rejected
and neglected

Because of you
i love
i love you so much..
<3 from your uke~

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme....

Distance~
you dont know how much i miss you
I laugh because it's only been a week
i will never forget the days i spent with you
i dont know how to explain
this feeling...of love for you
(end)

...wrote this in history class lol, I'm now reading over it, I'm so embarrassed to post the though...

[TrySton-Chan]

dear my seme..
12:10
as I'm writing this I'm at main event, you maybe thinking i'm having fun. but no, as i walk around, my thoughts drift to you. then then become sad because your not by my side

i want to feel the warmth of your embrace again,
and to tell the truth i dont think i'm going to be able to bear the time without you. i'm not that good at wirting,as you are, i find it hard to expaline my feelings but everyday, i'm going to write something dedicated to you, my wonderful seme...

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: sin~

i talk to everyday
but it's still not enough

i wonder what would happen ..
if we get caught

i wonder this everyday
every night

they call it a sin.

but..
I'd rather love,
then believe

---------- Post added at 05:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:18 PM ----------

understanding~
-to my parents ( even though i don't want them to read this)

i get angry at the fact you say you know me
but you don't have a clue

you say you know what I'm thinking
your just lie to your self

you think I'm the perfect daughter

you say you support me
but you just push me down

your pushing me to my limit

just wait one day,
I'll runaway-

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: 11/14/11

dear my seme

this morning i woke up thinking were there, after realizing not, i laid there staring at the ceiling, wanting you to be beside me.i haven't been been getting good sleep at night. i don't think i will in till i see you again..

i cant seem to get you out of my head today, like all days. it hurts me, as all i want to do is be with you.I've never had this feelings before when i was with guys. i don't know what you do to make me love you, but somehow you do that perfectly.

i love being your uke in every way, and i love that your my seme. i wish i was closer to you, so that when your sad i can cheer you up. when your angry, i want to hug you and tell you that every things going to be okay, to clam you down. as your uke i want to be able to do this....

but one thing i do find funny, that when i left our bonds got closer. i haven't been able to go one day, no one hour without thinking about you. i feel so far from you....but when i see you again, it'll be one of my happiest moments.. when i can be by your side again

i love you my seme

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: Thoughts~

I sat alone
troubled by my thoughts

as my day worsened
I pictured you beside me,
It never worked ....
I wondered do you do the same?

I cant return to reality today
as I'm stuck clouded by thoughts
..daydreams of my time with you

it's been two weeks
each day harder to bear
without your near

I zone out in class
I toss and turn in my sleep

I miss you my seme....

love your uke

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: Sanity~

I'm drifting further away
into space
losing sanity
becoming insane

I'm lost without you
lost with your embrace
away from your protection
longing to see you again

i want to go 'home'
home to where you are
away from the cruelty and hatred of the world

forget out pasts
the suffering and the lose
the fighting and crying
and live in the present, where we are with with each other.

[TrySton-Chan]

sorry it took forever

letters to my seme: Missed~ :edited:

Ive cried over the fact that i love you,
and miss you so much

the time on the clock doesn't matter,
it's still too long for me.
Every seconds a burden
every hours a punishment
as each day passes
the feeling comes stronger

the day i met you,
I'll never forget
we started as friends
and ended as lovers

i lay here
the sky black
the music blocked
my face slightly wet with tears of sadness
thinking about the last time i was with you
as my thoughts become repetitive
i sigh as i still cant fall asleep

i love and miss you my seme

---------- Post added at 01:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:53 AM ----------

letters to my seme: 3

just 3 more years
that's not so long
but when i think about the thought
3 years is way too long

3 years till i don't have to keep secrets
till i can hug you all i want
3 years til you can hold me in your arms
till i can stand beside you all the time

but 3 years is forever
when i miss you so much right now..

love you....

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: quote~

have you ever waken up from a dream so perfect in Evey aspect, that you never wanted it to end?

i have

your my dream, that i never want to wake up again from...
that never have to leave ...
and have another pain in my heart,
your the dream, i want to have from entirety(i dont know how to spell but that word supposed to be a word that means forever)..

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme:11/24/11

i know i should be talking to your on Facebook right now, but sadly I'm grounded, for another stupid thing my parents accused me of.so today, the day of thanks giving has been pretty crappy. one because of the reasons is not being able to talk to you at all, and the second is still being so far from you.

it's made me sad that i cant even tell you i wont be able to get online, i do not know if i will be grounded tomorrow ,but if i am i will call you

boredom has always been my enemy, and so far it's winning, i actually did my homework....

well i hope i can talk to you soon
love,
your uke

---------- Post added at 01:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:33 PM ----------

letter to my seme: love~

your letters you write,
put a smile on my face before the day begins.

i think of you and only you
that means your on my mind a lot

when i was little i remember imagining my future,
living the rest of my life with some perfect
well guess what Ive found her

you taught me how to love but not to stop
for that i am grateful
because i never want to stop

i love you my seme~

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: perfection

one more day
and another after that
that's how long till i see you hopefully
we'll be alone
away from all worries
stress, depression
but left with love

as i try to sleep
i end up counting down the days till i see you again

i still think this feeling is new to me
but i never want to lose the feel of it

i know I'm not perfect
but when i look at you everything becomes like you are.
...........perfect............

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: slowly dying-

tears drop onto the page as i write
sorrow and sadness fill my heart
losing you again...
it becomes more,and more painful to bear

it hurts when i have to put a fake smile on
because on the inside I'm slowly dying
i know I'm not going to be able to wait
when it hurts so much right now

you left a mark on my heart
one that wont erase
one i don't want to go away

i feel dead to the world
numb..
with you gone nothing else matters
except the pain of losing you again

doors slam
muffled yelling outside my door
i don't care
i want you here

i know I'm not mentally right,
perfect,
beautiful,
or smart; but as the time ticks
i know you are

as i saw you leave
i wanted to tell you then..
'i love you
please don't go'

keeping these thought locked in my head
it's going to drive me insane
keeping this love,this secret
is going to kill me

I'm not going to make it.
like you said.
"to hell with 3 years"

your gone
that fact i cant understand
your gone
and I'm slowly dying....

love,
your uke

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme :sleep~

as i shut my eyes to go to get some rest
i want to forget, ...my past,depression,..pain
all things, except something wonderful
you.

[TrySton-Chan]

what would you do if today was your last day?

I would try and spend my last seconds with you.

what would you do?

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: promise~

i'll never stop loving you
keep that in mind
tell me anthying
please dont lie

i'll never stop missing you
because you never leave my mind
i'll wait for entirety
it might kill me though...

i'll never stop thinking about you
only if you want me to...

because..
i'll never stop missing you
loving you
i want to always stay
your uke...

promise you'll do the same?....

[TrySton-Chan]

letters to my seme: Thank you~

love you more.
every day.
every second

for hearing my thoughts,
understanding my dream

being my best frriend
and even closer than that

filling my life with joy
and loving me without end.
........thank you............

-love your uke

[TrySton-Chan]

Darkness wonders in the crevices of my mind

will you strike me?

i seek pity to my brother or sister

i only know the pain on their face

every time they reach for your help, your comfort

you fling your anger across their skin

they back away in fear and so do i

i tremble in fear as you tear the gate out of it socket

the fierce power...

will you strike me?

if you know my scerct

know what Ive done

a forbidden love

a sin to your religion

but a passion to mine

will you strike me?

if you know i fell for a girl

and betrayed my teachings

sealed my fate

the pain that i feel

my restrained anger, i keep concealed

my masked, veiled sadness i take out on my skin

do you know..

every time i slept with tears

how many times i wanted out of your 'prison' your restraint

how i wanted to be free

let my hero save me.

---------- Post added at 09:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:32 PM ----------

letters to my seme: one last kiss~

one last kiss
to savor the memory

pause the time
is all i ask

let my hand hold yours
just a few more moments...

A light squeeze
to let you know
don't go

one last kiss
before we walk to the door

just to let you know
I'm all yours

i look with mournful eyes

AS you close the door
As you say goodbye

one last kiss
to savor the memory,
to know I'm yours,
before we say,
goodbye.

---------- Post added at 09:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:36 PM ----------

letters to my seme: I'm not afraid~

you know you mean the world to me

i'd give up anthying

sometimes i might be shy to admit it

but hey! i'll say it now

the only one i share my love to is you

and, i have to admit

i'm not afraid anymore

to let people know

that i love you more that the world.

you,
uke~

[TrySton-Chan]

Yay I'm finally updating on valentines day~

Letter to my seme: missed~

I no longer feel pain
but I miss you embrace
I only feel the warmth of love
During the times my mind thought dark thought, you saved me

I miss your laughter
I miss your smile
your beautiful face

I'm only a girl trapped in my nevering ending thoughts
your my hero
My knight
My seme

Love your uke.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________

[TrySton-Chan]

To Braina, My sister.
5/9/12 . My apologies-

Happy very Late Birthday. I wish you luck in your now double- Digit years.
I hope you can forgive me for failing at being an older sister. Just note I try my hardest to help you even though mom screwed up. maybe one day you'll get to read this entire letter. When your older..


Your gift from me. I even made it rhyme and thats really hard for me ^^

Little Girl.

Staring out the window
our reach will meet

no need to be narrow.
with our thoughts or speech

Lets make a promise
When were older

We'll meet and be joyous
and the day will be savoured

as you age
I cant wait to see it

Soon you'll be Teenage
and legit.

My little sister
I'll be here for you.

Our lives my be like Twister.
but we'll plow through

keep my promise in mind-
Because I"m going to find you.

[TrySton-Chan]

summer reading project
A lesson before dying.
poem one.

Death.

Is it as meaningless as they say?
People pass away and it’ll just be another day?
Jesus A savoir died.
With his head held high.
And was killed on the cross for which he was tied.
And the peopled cried having said goodbye.
But will death set me free?
And the light I will see?
Death for a noble cause.
So my spirit can be boundless.
Instead of tears they shed; people will applaud.
For I will be happy in a place that is deathless
Will I see Jesus our Savoir?
Will everything be clearer?
I will look down and see.
Everyone with joy filled tears
I died with dignity.
Set free of fears.

[TrySton-Chan]

Dream.
The swing creaked with its old rusting metal. It was a glumly sky- trying to decide either to rain or wait. I wanted it to rain to wash away the sorrows if it could. I griped the chain of the swing tighter tears spilling over again.

The grass was a soft green-winter right around the corner maybe? I knew it was chilly or at least it seemed it – it felt so real. The pain and hurt. It seemed like I was screaming now- for someone to tell me this was a dream – I was so scared it wasn’t.
My soaked hair was plastered to my face. My skin and shoes caked with dried mud. My chocolate hair flew freely down my back- Like I’ve been there for a while.

A blonde Girl sat beside me slowly pushing back and forth her white shoes dirtying with mud. I recognized her- She used to torment me. Now she was saying sorry- Like it was her fault. She shrugged her shoulders up so that her Green scarf covered her mouth.

My teary eyes met her navy ones. She still held fire and defiance of what she was doing in them but misery was there also. Her shoulders shrugged back down and she reviled a smile. She extended an arm to me- to shake hands and compromise maybe? I looked at her a bit confused. I directed my eyes back to my lap. She frowned.

I do not know if she left or stayed I didn’t care either way. Soon it deiced to rain- I guess the sky made up its mind.

I was pleading in my head this was a dream- I guess I believed differently.

[TrySton-Chan]

ann 3.jpg

This was supposed to be up yesterday..but my Internets broke...
~~~
Memories we have stored
An each other we have cared for
It's been a year
hasn't been easy we both have had our tears...

Nights I couldn't sleep
Times I wanted to cry.
It wasn't an easy reap
and we dont have to say goodbye.

I would cherish the moments we have together.
laying in your arm in cold weather
or walking hand in hand; having a good time.

A wonderful year full of adventure.
and I wait for many more.

Happy anniversary. Love you. <3

[TrySton-Chan]

I worte this when I was a bit upset, more like depressed. But usually thats when I get creative so things worked out. And actually the poem has a happy resoultion.

---

A dance with death,
Take your last breath.

A beautiful sight that sores over the skies,
Wake up too see the sunrise.

Don’t cry,
Hopefully this won’t be good-bye.

Fight,
You’ll be alright.

Stand,
And withstand
.
You’ll survive,
You’ll thrive.

Back away,

Your time isn’t here,
Cheer.

Death stands down, now take your leave,
This is not your time to grieve.

Turn around,
And you will be crowned.

Ruler of your life,
So drop the knife…

---