Cautious Love

"I'm scared too babe... I am too.. But you heard him, you're surgeons are good at what they do, there couldn't be anyone better.." I said and I pulled back and looked into her eyes, wiping her tears away, my shoulder damp now.

"It's still a very risky procedure.." I whispered. I pulled away and leaned back against the seat. "Lets go home.. Okay?"

"I know. " I said, I pecked her lips at her last sentence, in agreement. I walked to the other side of the car and drove us back home, but not before going to the store and getting a few things, all for her. She stayed in the car as I did this. She would see them tomorrow after her surgery.

When he got back in the car, i leaned in and kissed him. "Lets do something fun today and tonight.. I want to live today like its my last.. Because it very well could be.."

"Hun.. Its not your last day, but we will do some things. Starting now." I said, and I kissed her softly and I drove off, knowing where she may like to go. Carnival was in town, no rides of course.

We went to the carnival and played a lot of games, then we went out to eat. I was exhausted, but in a pretty good mood.

We had an amazing time, it was like normal again, like she didn't have cancer. Just minus the rides, because we would have done the whole park twice.
"Hey, I have to show you something." I said. Stepping out of the car once home. When she got out, I had her close her eyes and we walked to the fort. That was now like a little cabin.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XigKCnrsMN...ue+on+blue.jpg

---------- Post added at 03:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:29 PM ----------

(There's the chairs, but there's a bed on the inside instead of the couch.)

When he let me open my eyes, I gasped in surprise and grinned. "Oh Angus.. Its beautiful!"

I grinned, and pulled her close to me and kissed her cheek. "There's even a bathroom now and a mini fridge. And keys." I said, handing her a pair. It was really like a house now. I took her hand and led her in, the window doors swinging open into the decent sized room. The nightstand was a mini fridge, and mounted on the wall parallel to the bed was a nice TV. And to the left was the door to the bathroom. There was even a small desk in the corner. "Built it in three days. With a huge team of course "

I hugged him tightly. "I love it." I said, kissing him softly. "Can we stay here tonight?" I asked.

"I'm so glad.." I said softly, and I closed the doors and turned and grinned at her. "Of course." I said, sitting on the bed.

I sat with him and took his hand, lacing our fingers together. I felt a little pained, but I was too happy to notice. "I love you." I said softly.

"I love you too.." I said, and I carefully pulled her into my lap. She's lost weight, and I could notice with how much my arms wrapped around her waist. "Listen.. I will be there when you wake up from that surgery. And you will wake up. I need you to be brave, I know you can. You're the strongest girl I know, that's why you have that ring on your finger. And you will be here to put mine on me at our wedding " I said

I looked up into his eyes and I kissed his cheek. "Okay.." I whispered. I gently touched his cheek. "Just promise me... That if something does happen to me.. Please don't do anything stupid.. Just go and be happy, okay?"

(Awe.)

I looked back at her, taking a deep breath .. I nodded slowly, I had to keep this promise for her. Because what if something did go wrong? "I promise.." I said, touching her hand

I smiled. "That's my boy." I teased and I kissed him softly, my hand grabbing his hand lacing our fingers together.

I kissed her back, lovingly, her lips so soft on mine, the way her delicate body pressed to mine.. Every detail I was taking in, admiring her . she was such a beautiful person, and for a while here on out, she will be very different

After a long moment, I slowly pulled away and rested my forehead against his, looking into his eyes. I let my arms wrap around his neck and I gently gave him little kisses along his cheek and neck.

I rubbed her sides soothigly, and I smiled slightly, her kisses so sweet and gentle. "Let's sleep. We have an early morning.." I said

I sighed. "Okay.." I kissed him softly before getting up and changing into pajamas before laying in the really comfortable bed.

I changed also, sweatpants and no shirt. We laid down and I pulled her body close to mine, admiring it. Next time we would do this would be in the hospital bed..

I smiled and snuggled into him, closing my eyes. "I love you." I whispered.

I kissed the top of her head. "Love you too babe.." I said, and I tried to sleep, but got none.. And before I knew it, our four o clock alarm went off.

I jumped at the sudden noise, and I reached over and turned it off. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything before the surgery. I went and got dressed, my heart pounding the whole time.

I got dressed also, and before we walked out, I turned to her, and I held her face in my hands. "Fuck this cancer, you can do this.." I said, a slight smile tugging at my lips.

I nodded mutely, and I hugged him tightly, inhaling his intoxicating scent. I pecked his lips softly and we met my mom at the hospital, who hugged me for 10 minutes straight while crying, then I called my dad for a few minutes.

I let her have family time, and I sat and watched them.. I was nervous, scared.. It was hard to not show it.

After I got off the phone with my dad, I sat with Angus and held his hand tightly until the doctor came and took me to the room to prep me. They got me changed into a hospital gown and they let me lay down for a bit, then they let my mom and Angus in to be with me until the anesthetic made me fall asleep. The last thing I saw was Angus's face, then I was passed out.

I watched as her eyes closed, praying that they would open again.. "I love you.." I whispered, kissing her forehead and watching as they wheeled her away. I felt numb.. They took her ring off and I had it now, surgery precaution. I held it for hours and hours..

At one point I woke up and screamed out in pain and I remembered hearing the doctors yell and seeing a lot of blood before the doctor put me under again.