Cautious Love

"Hon.. your will beat this.. I'd anything goes wrong, I still have bragging rights to being engaged to the most perfect woman I've ever met.." I said, wiping her eyes.

I looked up into his warm eyes and I slowly smiled. "Okay." I whispered, and I leaned forwards and kissed him gently.

"That's a yes?.." I asked softly after pulling away. I needed a solid answer. Just to hear her say it and confirm that she was mt fiancee..

I smiled sweetly and nodded. "Yes." I whispered.

I pressed my lips to hers after that, and I gently ran my hand up and down her arm.. she said yes! I would pick her up and spin her, but that would hurt her.

I rested a hand on his cheek and I kissed him back slowly, my heart swelling with love for this amazing guy who is both my best friend and fiancé.

I pulled away, and sat beside her, and I slipped the ring on her finger, and smiled like mad.

(His is the bottom, hers is the top. Took a while, sorry.)

http://www.idreamsjewelry.com/images/rings/CRM0016.jpg

I looked down at the ring and grinned, before looking up into his eyes. "I love you Angus. So much." I whispered, pecking his lips.

"I love you too.. forever, alright?" I said, smiling. "Nothing can stop me from loving you.. not even this stupid cancer."

I smiled sweetly. "I'm so glad." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his, glancing at his lips before looking back up into his eyes.

I pulled her closer to me, and I kissed her passionately, lovingly... With as much love and passion I could sum up

I closed my eyes and kissed him back deeply, humming lightly behind the kiss. I gently ran my fingertips on the back of his neck. His kiss sent shivers up and down my spine.

I was scared to pull her into my lap, to really hold her.. But I didn't want to risk hurting her. I put y hands on her hill and rubbed softly, groaning behind the kiss also, letting my teeth snag her lip playfully

I smiled behind the kiss, knowing that he was scared of hurting me. But being with him distracts me from the pain. I slowly moved so I was straddling his lap, kissing him deeper.

The effect she had on me was crazy.. I already felt excitement build up inside of me. But we couldn't do this, not in her state.. I kissed her slowly, lowering the passion of the kiss at an easy decline. "We can't." I said after pulling away for a moment. "Not until you're better.."

I sighed and looked down. "I know.." I whispered. But what if I never get better? I got up and walked out of the fort, going to the little river. I hate this.. What did I do to deserve this?

I let her wonder off and I stayed behind.. What was she thinking? I couldn't imagine.. After a bit I walked out and to her location. "We should get back.. Since you just had pain meds.."

I sighed. "Yeah..." I answered. I walked with him back to the house and then I did some research until about 10 PM. I walked into Angus's room and sat on the edge of his bed. "I did some research and chemo could potentially ruin any chances of me having kids and Angus.. I want kids someday. So I think.. I should.. Do the surgery."

I sat up and looked over at her. Then I thought for a moment, and I ran my hands through my hair. It's so risky. Then i nodded.. "Okay.." I said, looking at her.

I leaned in and kissed him softly. "I know it's risky.. But I believe in fate. So if I'm meant to live through this.. I will."

"Alright.." I said and I kissed her back. "I'm.. Just going to go for a drive, okay? I'll be back in ten minutes. " I needed some time. I did just that, and I went and drove, and got a pack of cigarettes. Once back, I sat in the front and lit a cigarette, taking a deep puff.

I sat on the couch and looked down at the engagement ring. Some celebration... I sighed sadly and wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin on them.

After half a pack, I walked in and I took a short, and brushed the hell out of my teeth.. Then after I got dressed, I sat by her on the couch, and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry.."

"You smelled like cigarette smoke when you walked in.. I didn't know you did that." I mumbled. "It's alright. It's your health." I got up. "I'm going to bed." I went up to the bedroom and changed into pajamas.

"Astoria.." I said softly, but she was already up the stairs. After a while, I went up after her, and laid beside her. "Hey.. I'm sorry..." I said, pulling her close to me. "It's better than the heroin.."

"You don't understand." I whispered. "You don't realize how precious life truly is until you are close to losing it.."

I sighed, and I kissed her shoulder softly. "I know the feeling actually.." I said , and I then timed over on my side, facing away.. I've ruined today

I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep, then the next morning I called the doctor and said i would do the surgery and it was scheduled for 4 weeks after tomorrow, with x rays and check ups in between.

I woke in the morning, praying everything was a dream, except the Engagement. The day was such a fuck up I never knew if I could forgive myself.

I walked into the bedroom and handed Angus a plate of bacon. I then kissed his cheek and said,"I want to take my mother out to dinner tonight.. So we can announce our engagement."