Childhood Friends Turn Into Sweethearts?

I grinned as I watched him. He's so cute when he's frustrated.. I handed him a glass of iced tea. "Look at you.. Working so hard..." I said with a giggle. The baby began to kick very hard and I groaned in pain, my hand going to my stomach.

"Thanks Babe." I said, taking a drink. When she groaned in pain I jumped up, and I was by her side right away. "Hey, you okay? What's wrong?" I asked, my hand going over hers softly.

I leaned against him and closed my eyes. "He's kicking really hard.. That's all.." I whispered, my voice weak. I felt something wet and I looked down. Fuck.. My water broke..

I noticed the little puddle around her. "Liam is coming a bit early.." I grabbed my car keys and I helped her into the car, and rushed to the hospital, they got her a room right away, the birthing suite. They gave her pain medication, and medication to get her dialated. iI held her hand anand kissed the back of it, she must be very uncomfortable..

Everything was going on so fast. I had no idea what was going on. After a few moments the doctors began to panic. "Oh no.. His breathing stopped. October you have to calm down!" I couldn't though. It hurt so much. "He's coming just hold on.." I pushed and then I finally felt release. But.. No crying.. I opened my mouth to speak but I blacked out before I got the chance.

"October!" I saw how she blacked out, the baby was rushed Away, the silence deadly as I heard no crying. Doctors crowded around her, giving her medicine and checking her vitals.. I was scared

I eventually woke up and I immediately began to panic. Where's Liam?! Where's my baby?! the doctor came in
. A sad look on his face. "October.. Your baby.. Didn't make it.. He stopped breathing.. We couldn't revive him.." He handed me a wrapped blanket. I slowly opened part of it to see my dead baby's face. Liam.. He's so beautiful.. I started to shake and I began to sob uncontrollably. Then when the doctor took Liam away I began to scream in agony.
((Omg I started crying while typing this))

(I started to while reading it ): aw..)

I felt tearan come to my eyes as Well, I held my head in my hands, quiet sobs rocking my body. My boy.. my little man.. Liam.. my little partner in crime.. was gone.. I heard October start to scream, and I shook my head, the sadness too much.. I stood and I took her hand. "October.. honey.. " I said, kissing her cheek. When she wouldn't stop screaming, the doctors rushed in and injected a calming medicine in her IV.. I held her hand, and rested it on my forehead.. I was couldn't understand Why this had to happen to us.

The doctors decided to keep me overnight and I cried for hours. Even when I ran out of tears I still moaned softly in agony, my teeth clenched. How?! He was so healthy!! I wouldn't eat or sleep or talk. I've never felt so broken. My baby.. Who loved my voice, who kicked lovingly. Gone..

The day came where we got checked out, and were free to leave. I walked her out to the car, sadness in both of our eyes.. when we got in the car, I looked at the baby seat in the back.. Liam should have have been there.. I rested my head on the steering wheel.. we had that room and baby things all over the house.. we would constantly be reminded..

We went home in silence. We had no idea what to say. I walked into Liam's baby room and looked around. He should be in that crib.. I sat on the ground and cried some more, unable to control myself. I can't handle it.. My baby..

I followed her slowly and when she cried, I held her in my arms, cooing to her softly.. I looked down at the chair pieces on the ground.. never finished it, never will.. I felt my own eyes sting with tears, and I kissed her cheek softly before I got up, and I headed out the room and to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge..

I stayed in that room until I made myself go to our room. I laid in bed, clutching the blanket that was around his body to my chest. It's all I have left of him. I feel so.. Empty.. Broken...

I shook my head, and put the beer back. I headed to the bedroom, and I cuddled up to October and I kissed her cheek. "Babe.. talk to me.." I said, very worried about her.. would our relationship survive this one?

I looked up into his sad eyes, a broken expression on my face. "I can't do it baby.. I-I don't think I'm going to make it through this.." I whispered, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. I want to die..

"No, No.. Babe.. don't think like that, please.." I said and I felt my eyes sting with more tears.. "I love you, okay? And I am here for You.. " I said, and I rubbed her side gently. "Times are hard, But we have made it this far and we will push forward.."

I shook my head. "I lost 2 now Paxton! 2.. 2 babies that never had a chance at life.. I think it's my body.. I can't risk it again.. It hurts so much carrying a baby for 9 months then he's gone in a matter of minutes.. I dont think I'll ever be able to give you a child.."

I've always wanted a child.. and to hear her say that made me look down.. "I'm sorry that this had to happen, and.. I'm here for you, this hurts me too, October, and I'll be by your side fighting through this.." I said, and I know that after her first baby, she had tried to kill herself.. I was scared that she would try again..

"I don't think there's any fight left in me.." I whispered. I slowly turned my back to him and I held the blanket tighter to my chest, closing my eyes and falling asleep, dreaming of Liam..

(Suicide attempt? )

I sighed, and I let go of her and I fell asleep, facing the other way. I didn't dream of anything, just blackness, and darkness..

I woke up in the middle of the night and all I could hear was a baby crying. I ran all over the house. Nothing. I poured me a glass of water and I grabbed a handful of pills. I can't take it.. I can't..

I heard her get up, and I stood when I heard the bathroom door. Puking? I opened the door, to see a handful of pills in her hand, and a glass of water. It took me a moment.. Fuck.. I quickly grabbed her wrist, holding her hand over the sink. "Drop them.." I said.

It took me a few moments to register what was happening and when I did, I dropped the pills and put the water down. "I-I'm so sorry..." I said, my voice barely audible.

"October.. who would have found you? Who would help me? Who would fight this cancer with me... Babe, who would marry me?" I said, shaking my head.. Why would she do this.. I slowly pulled her into my arms. "Don't do that.." I said, kissing her neck softly..

I clung to him tightly, sobs rocking my body. "I don't know what came over me.. Baby I'm so so sorry I'm not leaving you I swear.. I'm so sorry.." I kissed his neck back. What was I thinking?!

I swallowed hard, and my arms limply wrapped around her.. I was shocked, still in disbelief.. I was also extremely hurt in ways I couldn't explain. My arms tightened around her, and I pulled Away and wiped her tears. Second time in this same bathroom I've walked in on suicide attempts. "Let's just go to bed.. when she tried to kiss my lips , I turned my head slightly, so her kiss landed on my cheek. I tugged her along behind me back to the bedroom, and I laid down, staring at the ceiling..

I was hurt when he rejected me but I couldn't blame him. I silently laid next to him, turning my back to him once more. I could feel paxton slowly slipping away from me and there's nothing I can do to stop it.. I eventually fell asleep.

I woke in the morning, But I didn't want to get up.. I looked over at October, and I slowly moved closer to her, spooning her from behind. I moved the hair from her neck and I kissed it softly, my arm wrapping around her.

I felt someone holding me and I opened my eyes, glancing back to see Paxton.. I slowly turned around in his arms and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Paxton.. What I did was terrible.. I wasnt even thinking about how it would affect you.. I'm so sorry baby. . I love you so so much.." I whispered.

I rubbed her back softly, and I kissed her neck softly and sweetly. I pulled away and I looked into her eyes. "Babe, its all okay now.. Just, please.. Never, ever do that again to me.. Especially now." I said, and I kissed her softly, and sweetly.. "I love you too.." I said against her lips.