College Life

I had just gotten out of the shower and I put on shorts and a shirt. I heard the doorbell and I walked over, tired. My head was killing me. I opened the door and squinted from the sudden light. "Oh hey Amy..."

"What are you doing?"I asked, staring at her. I could tell she had let herself go, beyond all extremes.

"I just got out of the shower.." I opened the door wider for her so she can come in. "What are you doing?.."

"Everyone is worried about you. So I came,"I said, as I walked inside and looked around. The place was empty. No furniture, nothing. After all, she came from a college dorm..

I sighed and led her to the kitchen, sitting on the counter. "You wanna know what sucks? Mom made me go to the doctor and they gave me antidepressants. And they seem to make me even more depressed." I grabbed the pill bottle and threw them against the wall.

I reached up and took her hands in my own,"Jez, what is wrong? You bought a house? An empty house in the country. You're depressed and secluded... Talk to me."

I looked down at our hands and I burst into tears. "I thought that if I moved in a secluded place it would be easier for me to get over you but I can't Amy.." I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. "I haven't felt this bad since Ashton died." I whispered.

I had no idea who Ashton was but I pulled my arms around her and held her tightly,"You never had to get over me, Jez... Ever."

I hugged her back and rested my face in her neck. "You're the love of my life Amy.. This was supposed to be our home with fucking furniture and horses and everything we could ever want.. This was where we were going to raise a baby or two.. We had it all planned in our minds and those fucking men ruined it. They ruined everything. And you forgot me and our perfect fucking memories and every day I'm just.. Dying more and more.."

"Why don't you try? If we were meant for one another like you say we are then I will always love you, too... Jez, you never tried,"I whispered into her ear, rubbin her back tenderly.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes and I took her hand and placed it on my heart. "Amy.. You're not a lesbian though.. You never even told your parents about us.." I looked down. "Do you feel anything, at all?"

"Why would I tell my parents? Jez I grew up poor in a small, conservative town. Why would I let something so good be tainted by my past?"I asked, looking at my hand,"You never gave me the chance to feel anything."

I slowly let go of her hand and I looked down. "I'm sorry." I said softly, wiping my eyes.

"I'm still here,"I said softly, sighing,"I'm still willing to try... Not like this, though, not with you like these.. I won't. You want me? You have to clean yourself up.."

I looked down at her and I just stared for a moment. She actually wants to try with someone like me. "Okay." I whispered.

I stared at her for a moment,"But, to give you a little motivation,"I leaned in and gently pressed my legs to hers, just gently, letting it linger for a moment before I pulled away.

When she kissed me, it made my heart race. When she pulled away, I felt very disappointed. "Thank you." I whispered, smiling slightly.

"There's that smile,"I said softly, stepping back,"I'm staying, here. I packed a bag. Gotta make sure you don't kill yourself."

I pushed myself off of the counter and I smiled slightly. "I have a guest bedroom for you to use if you want."

"Well, I'm not sleeping on the couch,"I said with a slight chuckle, seeing as there was no couch,"Is there even a bed in the guest room? What did you bring?"

"All of the bedrooms are furnished.." I sighed. "I just haven't gotten the rest in line yet." I said.

"Your parents money?"I asked as she led me upstairs to the guest room, which was cute.

I felt uncomfortable at the question. "Not all of this.. I paid for most of the house. They're helping me with furniture."

"Where would you get money like that? A college student and all?"I looked around the room before my eyes landed on her.

"I did a few gigs at Julliard throughout my time and they paid me well for it, and money from my old job. I saved up. I paid for as much as I could, then my parents took some money out of my trust bond and gave it to me, for the rest."

I nodded slowly, watching her,"So, how messed up are you? Your friends said you have a history with drugs... And drinking."

I sat on the bed and looked down. "Yeah.. I'm.. Pretty fucked up.." I mumbled.

"All the pills, all the drugs, all the booze, I want them,"I said, walking towards her,"Now."

I stared up at her and I slowly got up and I shakily grabbed all of it that I had and I gave it all to her. "There." I went to my room and sat in my bed, my head in my hands. Withdrawing is going to be so hard..

I dumped it all down the toilet, then walked into her room,"What can I do for you?"