Cautious Love

I groaned , and relaxed as she worked the knots out. It felt amazing. "Remind me to stretch before sex next time." I said with a laugh.

I giggled. "Okay." I answered. It took a while, but I finally got the knots out of his back. I got up and smiled. "Better?"

"Agh. Thank you." I said standing, feeling like an old man. A week or so passed, and our relationship grew quite a bit, when we told her mom, she laughed, because she knew that we would eventually get together.
Right now I was at the gym, qhen done, I texted Astoria to see if she needed anything.

I texted him back and said that I didn't need anything. We hardly ever saw Chuck and Ashley, thank god. A few more weeks passed and I started to feel weird. I felt sick. When I expressed this to my mom, she told me to get a pregnancy test. "How can I be pregnant mom?" I asked. "Better be safe than sorry." So I went to the store and bought the test. I went home and did exactly what the instructions said, and I waited for 5 minutes. I looked at it and saw a plus sign. I threw the test away, very confused. How can this be? How am I going to tell Angus? I sat on his bed and waited for him to get home from the gym.

I got back from the gym, and I went and cleaned up, and walked into my room. She was there on my bed, she looked stressed out, pale. I knelt in front of her, and took her hand. "Hey.. what's wrong?"

I looked down into his eyes, my hands trembling. "I have to tell you something, Angus.." I took a deep breath. "For the past few weeks, I've been feeling odd.. And sick.. I didn't want to worry you.. I told mom and she told me... To get a pregnancy test.. And I did.. I just took it a few moments ago and.. I'm pregnant."

When she said that, I didnt know what to feel.. but I knew right away, it was not my doing. I was not the father of this baby. I let her hand go, and I stood up, shaking my head and backing away.. "How..." I breathed, and anger started to boil inside of me slowly, but surely..

I was trembling so hard at this point. "I don't know." I whispered. I slowly stood up and took a step towards him. "I don't know how."

"I hope you know what im thinking right now. Because Astoria, that is not my baby." I said, pointing at her stomach x I couldn't even look at her right now. I was shaking, and tears filled my eyes. "Out. Get out of my room." I said, my voice breaking. I controlled my anger knowing that shouting does nothing, because I had my facts.

"You.. Can't possibly believe that I.. Cheated on you?" I asked disbelievingly. "Angus.. I would NEVER hurt you like that." I said, tears streaming down my cheeks. Then I began to get angry too. How can he not believe me? "Fine. I'm leaving. I'm going to stay with Alyssa for a while." I said angrily. I walked out of his room and packed a bag, then I called Alyssa to pick me up.

I had alot of steam to blow off.. I grabbed my keys agaib, and I walked past her, and headed outside to my car, and I soed off, and went back to the gym. I overworked every muscle in my body, and it ended in a nasty muscle tear, shich left me in the hospital overnight.

I went with Alyssa and I vented and cried, and cried some more. I'll have to do this completely on my own. I called the doctor and they said to come in for my first sonogram in a week.
((That's when she'll find out she's not actually pregnant.))

I had to wear tons of compression bands on my leg untill it was healed, if it didnt heal, I would need surgery. Once back home, I was just locked in my room. I was so tempted to shoot up, but I didnt have any.. but the craving was strong..

I wanted to cut so badly. But I didn't have razors anymore. I even visited our spot and that made things even worse. I ran into Ashley at the mall and it wasnt a friendly confrontation.

Four days passed, and I had to talk to Astoria, .. I wanted a calm, cool conversation.. I went to her friends house, and I knocked on the door.. my heart was racing. Could I do this?..

I heard someone knocking on the door, and Alyssa was in the shower so I answered it. My heart sank when I saw Angus there. "What?" I asked, my voice steely.

It sucked, seeing her open the door. And only a look of disappointment clear on her face. "Can you just answer this question honestly for me?.. did you cheat on me?" I asked her.

I didn't meet his eyes. I just looked down. "No." I answered. It was the truth. I never cheated on him.

I leaned against the doorway, my leg killing me, where I pulled the muscles, the compression bands visible because I was wearing jean shorts. "Okay.." I said softly. "Look at me.." I said, and I tucked the strand behind her ear. "I believe you.. but.. cant you blame.me.for thinking the way I did? I mean.. you remember, I didnt... release." I said, and I looked down, and I took her hand. "Im sorry.."

I looked up at him, and then at our hands. "I needed you there for me." I whispered. "You have no idea how hard this is. Being pregnant." I sighed and let go of his hand. "I get my first sonogram tomorrow morning."

I sighed, and I ran my hand through my hair. I had let my facial hair grow in just a bit, bit trimmed nicely. "Come home.. please.. ill take you tomorrow.." I said, and I took her hand again, and pulled her into a tight hug.. I buried my face in her shoulder.. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." I said.. "I've... always wanted to be a Dad..."

I closed my eyes and hugged him back tightly, sighing shakily. "Only if you shave your face." I said with a chuckle. I hate facial hair. Gross. I pulled away and kissed his cheek. "Really?" I asked, referring to the last comment.

I chuckled, and shrugged. "Maybe.. its just a beard, comeonnn.." I said. And I nodded. "Yeah.. I mean, a little boy would be .. amazing. Or a girl." I said

I smiled. "A boy would be nice." I said, pecking his lips. "But seriously though, shave or I'll never kiss you again." I teased.

"Comeonnn. I know you like it." I said, and I rubbed my scruffy fave in her cheek, laughing as she squirmed. I stopped and winced, that not being easy on my leg

I noticed him wince, then I saw what he had on his leg. "What happened?" I asked.

"I.. tore three muscles." I said, shaking my head. "I blew too much steam off at the gym and went over the weight limit for squats and I pulled one, and tore two others." I said.

"Ouch.." I frowned. "I'm sorry." I said softly. I hugged him once more. "Lets go home."

"Yeah.. lets go.." I said, and we for her things and we drove back. I helped her with her bag, and once inside I set it on her bed. "So what time is the appointment?"

"10." I said softly, resting my hand on my stomach and sitting down. I'm so nervous..