Stop and Stare

I watched her intently, and I patted the spot on the bed beside me.

I smiled slightly and laid down next to her, sighing softly.

I stared into her eyes, touching her cheek gently, stroking it with my thumb.

I stared back and placed my hand on hers, smiling gently.

I pulled her hand to my lips, kissing the inside of her palm.

I blushed and smiled, kissing her nose. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you,too,"I said gently, pulling her closer.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her closer. "I'm still Sorry." I whispered.

"And I'm still forgiving you,"I said gently, brushing the tip of my nose against hers.

I sighed. "I do trust you... You know that right?" I said softly.

"You sure didn't seem like it,"I said quietly, frowning gently.

I frowned. "I know. I freaked out. But I really do trust you." I whispered.

"Then why did you flip?"I asked, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed. "Because I lost one of my brothers to drugs." I whispered

"I'm not your brother, or your ex girlfriend, or anyone who has ever hurt you,"I said, shaking my head.

I sighed. "I know. My brother didnt mean for it to happen. We went to his friends house and they had a pill party where they put random pills in a bowl and passed it around. I told him not to do it but he did it anyway. He passed out and went to the hospital. I held his hand while they pumped his stomach. He didnt make it. I cant lose you like I lost him." I had tears in my eyes

I stared at her for a second and sighed,"I'm sorry about your brother, I really am. I've been through it, too, both sides of it. And yeah, it sucks, but that gave you no right to pull me outside and start screaming at me. You never asked, you just took someone's word for it. You never gave me a chance. And doing that, you'll loose me a lot faster than a pill can take me away."

I sat up and wiped my tears. "I know! I said I was sorry alright? I'm sorry that I yelled at you just for being scared. I didnt think to ask because I was terrified. And when I'm in that state, I dont think. So there, I'm sorry. I was wrong, you were right okay?" I grabbed my jacket and went outside and towards the library.

I shook my head as she left. God damn. She was being insane. I couldn't stand it. I sighed and got dressed, leaving as well, even for a Saturday. I wasn't going to sit around and wait for her like some pathetic rag.

I read for a long time, hardly paying attention to story lines. How can she be so mad at me for this? I know I should have asked first but I freaked out and yelled at her without thinking. Why can't she understand that I didn't mean to do that? Everyone has moments when they say things without thinking..

I sat at the park, which was empty. The leaves were falling, orange and red. I sighed softly and sat on the swing, swaying back and forth.

I went back to the dorm a few hours later and changed in a tank top and shorts and I laid in bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around myself.

I stayed at the park all day, and even into most of the night. When I checked the time, it was midnight.

I was still awake, watching random movies. I sat in bed with a pillow hugged to my chest, my heart heavy. Where is Broady?

I began to walk towards the dorms, but didn't get there until one in the morning. I slid into the door slowly, sighing gently.

I looked up, relieved to see her, but I didn't say anything. She probably doesn't want to talk to me. So I'll give her the space she needs. I looked back at the movie and watched it with mild attention.

I slid off my coat and hung it up in the closet, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling my shoes off. I couldn't tell if she was awake or not, so I didn't want to make too much noise. I slid my shoes over and rubbed my eyes, pulling my shirt off.

I sighed as a sex scene came on. I grabbed the DVD remote and fast forwarded it so I wouldn't have to watch it. Why did I have to choose a movie with so much sex in it?

I glanced at the tv and noticed what was happening before it began to fast forward. I glanced at her and gently took the remote out of her hand, rewinding it back and laying down beside her, resting my head on her chest.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair gently. I didn't say anything, I just silently watched the scene with my girl in my arms.