College Life

"It's not like I want to be.." I answered. I pulled into the driveway and parked. "Well, here you are.."

"I'll talk to you later, have a good night,"I leaned over and kissed her cheek before climbing out of the car, sighing. I bit my tongue as I walked towards the dorm. I was poor, sadly poor, poorer than the help they had just fired. She grew up with maids and butlers?

I drove home and got in my dorm, slamming my door shut. I took a shower and then took a handful of pills, laying in bed. She thinks I'm a privileged brat. I closed my eyes. My parents always fuck things up.. I mean, what did Amy expect? I go to Julliard! Most of us are rich..

I sat on the edge of my bed, sighing softly. I loved he, and that didn't change. I was simply tense, and uncomfortable. I couldn't give her what she needed... I wasn't rich, I didn't have any promises I could make her... I was just me.

The next day, I woke up and got ready for the day, then I went down to the theatre to get my things from the dressing room. Finally, I was free. It was a bittersweet feeling. I went back to my dorm, then I took Sydney to Starbucks with me for some coffee.

When I saw Sydney and Jez walk through the door I smiled softly and then sighed, going to the customers infront of me. I didn't know if she was mad at me... I don't know.

I saw Amy talking to some customers, so I didn't want to bother her. We got coffee and we sat down, talking about homework and stuff. I glanced at Amy and wondered if things changed between us.

After the line slowed I stepped out from behind the counter and approached them, smiling,"Hey guys."

"Hey." We both answered with a smile. "How was your night? " I asked, sipping my drink.

"Uhm, it was fine.."I said softly as I rubbed her back,"How about you guys?"

"Well, I went to my parents so.." Sydney shrugged and began to play on her phone. I glanced up at Amy. "Mine was okay, I guess."

"Yeah..."I nodded softly before standing straight,"I have to go back but you guys enjoy yourselves..."

I nodded and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "Okay." We left after we finished our coffee and I went to Damian's to vent to him.

I finished my shift and went to class. Midterms had gone well and I was able to move on to the next step of my training.

After Damian's I went and finished my homework, then I went to a 2 hour musical theory lecture, then I sat in my dorm feeling gloomy and down.

I opened my P.O. Box and next thing I knew I was outside Jez's door. The tears were unstoppable and I couldn't breathe, and I knocked on her door slowly, trying to collect myself.

I got up and opened my door, surprised to see Amy there crying.. I immediately pulled her inside and hugged her. "Shh.. It's okay.. What happened?"

I held up the paper with a trembling hand, bits of it soaked with year drops. The letter went along the lines that I was not financially suitable to continue in the program at my college and that they could no longer sponsor my education. I was to pack up and leave by the end of next week and they would refund me for what I've paid since midterms.

"Oh no.." I whispered as I read the letter. I sat her down and wrapped my arms around her, rocking her back and forth. "Amy.. Let me help you.."

I couldn't really speak but somehow I choked out a "how?"

"Let me help you pay for it.." I said, kissing her cheek.

I shook my head and then shook it again,"No... Jez... No..."

"Sweetie I don't need any of this money.. I don't want it. You need it.. Or.." I looked into her eyes. "How about.. You work for my parents? In their kitchen or something.. They have a lot of parties.. If you cater them, they'll pay you well, I'll make sure of it. But in the mean time, let me help you so you won't have to move right away."

"I don't want any charity... I've worked my way here my entire life... I... I just..." I shook my head and rested my face in my hands.

"This isn't charity Amy. I want you to finish college and pursue your dreams because yes you did work hard and you deserve it. Please, let me help you baby.." I kissed her head. "I love you." I whispered.

I just leaned into her and wiped my eyes,"Do you think if your parents hired me they would let me live there?"

"Yes. They would if I asked them." I answered. I kissed her forehead. "Everything will be okay.."

"I feel so empty,"I whispered as I rubbed my swolen eyes.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered, rubbing her back. I felt guilty. I wished I could help..

"C-can you help my pack? My room?"I looked up at her, sighing.