Cautious Love

"Date? Psh, I dont know what your talking about." I said, chucking. "It was,.. nice." I said, smiling at her. "Shes really cool."

((So, I think their fight should happen during school..))

I smiled. "Good." I answered. "I'm glad you had fun." I ruffled his hair. "Goodnight." I got up and went back to my room and I felt an odd twisting feeling in my stomach.

(Definitely.)

I smiled and I fell asleep like that, and woke the next morning, then took a shower, my shoulder stinging when I did so. I got ready for the lazy Saturday, and I headed into her bedroom, jumping on her, since she was asleep. "Wakeuppppp!" I said, shaking her, purposely annoying her

I woke up with a start and I groaned, pushing him off of me. "Jerk." I mumbled. "Dont you have somewhere to be?" I asked, putting my pillow over my head.

"Oh come on, dont be so cranky." I said, hugging her to me. "Sowwy." I said. "And that place is here, with you, so."

When I heard him say that, I could feel my heart beating a little faster. What the hell? I pulled away from him and sat up. "What do you wanna do today?" I asked.

"How about.. lunch in the park or something cheesy like that." I said, looking up at her as I was still laying down.

I sighed. "Alright." I answered. I got up and took a shower, then I got dressed and ready for the day. I went back in my bedroom and sat on my bed, waiting for him.

I was already ready, and I walked in, smiling. I held up a cooler, a bag one. "This is the picnic basket, legs go." I said, smiling.

I smiled. "Okay." I got up and we walked to a nearby park, and sat down under a shady tree.

I set the bag between us and I sat on the nice grass. Since I had a girlfriend now, I think.. I didnt want that to ruin my friendship with Astoria, and I would spend alot of time with her still. "Pb and j?" I asked, handing her the sandwich, already knowing her answer

"Of course." I answered, taking the sandwich. "So, this girl.. What's she like?" I asked, taking a bite.

"Well.. She's sweet, really kind and has a good personality, but there's a major flaw, pushy. She is so pushy." I said, shaking my head, and taking a bite. "But she's going through some stuff, so I'm putting that aside."

I just smiled and nodded, finishing my sandwich. I didnt ask any more questions about this girl, because my heart clenched painfully every time he mentioned her. Why? It's not like I like him like that..

The reason why I had bee up for this date, was because I think she had me locked in this jail cell, called the friendzone, like a prison I would rot in.. So I went into this automatically knowing it would never happen, so I kept an open mind.
"You need a date." I said. "What if I set you up?"

I looked up at him and frowned. "Are you saying that I'm desperate or something? I don't need someone to be happy." Who does he think he is? Just because he's with someone.. It makes me feel worse.

"Hey, hey.. I wasn't hinting towards that at all, don't just jump things like that okay?" I said, touching her arm. "It was just a suggestion, and I guess its a no."

I moved my arm away. "Whatever.. My love life is nobody's concern." I got up. "I'm going home."

"Hey.. No.. Stop..." I said, and I took her wrist. "Listen, I'm sorry.. Can we please just.. Finish this? I miss my best friend." I said, did what I say really make her this upset?

When he grabbed my wrist, I felt a sort of jolt and I pulled it away before sitting back down. "Fine.." I grabbed my juice and took a sip, looking down.

"Now.. Can we forget I said that. Please?" I said, and I looked down. "Doing the talent show?" I asked her.

I shook my head. "When the school hates me? No thanks." I answered.

Why am I saying all the wrong things today?... I sighed. "Maybe we should get back." I said, standing.

"Okay." I answered, getting up. We walked home, then I retreated to my room to lay down.

As you can guess , movie night did not happen.. I was in my room sleeping.
I watched in horror as my dad swung an axe, it hitting the woman in the back of the head, killing her instantly, I fell to my knees , shaking, terrified.. he continued to chop her up, and he forced me to help burry her by a creek..
I fell out of my bed, and quickly woke up, breathing heavily.. I hated the flashback dreams..

God there was a lot of blood. I sucked in a deep, shaky breath, as I wrapped bandages around my bleeding wrist as I read text after text from Ashley and Chuck. I got up and wiped my tears, going downstairs for a midnight snack.

I heard someone, and the light footsteps told me it was Astoria.. I opened my bedroom door, and followed the noises to the kitchen. "Hey.." I said softly. "Are you o.." I began, and I sae her wrist, blood seeping through her faikure of a bandage.

I turned away from him quickly, closing my eyes. I'm so stupid.. I quickly rolled my sleeve down and opened the fridge. "I'm fine." I said firmly.

"Astoria, no." I said. I walked over to her, and I turned her to face me. "Stop this, stop being so distant with me." I said softly. "You helped me, let me help you. No questions asked." I said, looking her in the eyes.

I looked away quickly. "You can't help me. You can't stop these people from tormenting me." I answered, crossing my arms.

"Youre right, I cant.. but I can help you clean that, and make sure it does not happen again. Maybe.. I dont know.. talk to me?" I said, and I grabbed her shoulder gently, and took her to my room.

I sat down on his bed and let him clean my burning wrist. "I already told you what's been going on. I've been getting shit for Angel Face and the abortion."

I looked at her after I bandaged her up, and I sighed.. "What if you do online school for the rest of the year?" I said, looking back down. "You can avoid them that way.. and change your number, make a new Facebook, everything.. just so you cant hear their shit." I said.
"And Astoria." I said, looking into her eyes. "You should know, you did nothing wrong at all, okay?"

I shook my head. "It's just one more year.. I can last. And I dont want to give them the satisfaction." I answered.

"Half a year." I said, and I sighed. "I cant stand seeing this, and feeling helpless towards it.." I said. "You do not deserve any of this." I said.
I laid down on my bed, and I looked up at her. "Im going to make sure you dont do anymore.. so.. stay with me tonight." I said, patting the room right by me.

I sighed and slowly laid down next to him. He's not making this any easier for me.. He just makes me
. Alive..

I just wanted her happy.. really happy.. I pulled her close to.me and I pulled the blankets over us. "Goodnight.." I said, and I closed my eyes.


(Tired, ill be on tomorrow! Good night!)

I snuggled close to him, and I hooked my leg over his hip like I usually do. I slowly fell asleep, my heart swelling with affection for him.

(Goodnight!)

I felt.. funny.. I had butterflies and I really enjoyed this. Its never happened before, my feelings have never really taken me over. I closed my eyes and tried to get my mind off this, she would never want me anyway..

I curled my fingers in his longer hair as I tried to fall asleep. I love Angus.. That's clear now. And now it's too late.. He's seeing someone else.. Though no one knows him like I do..