Cautious Love

I rubbed my forehead when he said that. "Idiot.." I mumbled. "Keep it far from me." I said. "Cause I actually need to stop using it. I actually want to have a life." I said.

"The only way weed will ruin your life is if you spend too much on it." I frowned at what she said. "Don't call me an idiot for smoking. It could be worse. I could be smoking cigarettes."

"Thats how it ruined my life." I mumbled, and I didnt say anything about the last part. I just pulled a pack of cigarettes out and smiled. "Hah." I said, and put them back in my bag. I didnt smoke much, just when I craved weed..

"Idiot." I repeated what she said to me. "That's worse than weed." I said, rolling my eyes. Does she not know anything?

"Dont get me fucking started on that goddamn heroin shit." I said, glaring at him. "And maybe I want something worse than weed. Maybe I deserve it." I said. I reached in my bag and got a lighter and a cigarette, and I stood and headed out the side door that went directly outside into a little courtyard.

"Better not let them catch you smoking! They don't allow that here because people try to burn themselves." I called. I closed my eyes and yawned. I hate rooming with a sassy ass dramatic girl. Girls are just too much. I slowly fell asleep into a light slumber.

I just chuckled at what he said and I smoked quickly and headed back in, and I brushed my teeth and I hid the cigarettes in a good spot. I wasn't sure how I felt.about this guy. He was kind of a prick.

I woke up about an hour later when the officials came in. They swept over the place and they were satisfied when they didn't find anything. I got dressed and walked down to the dining hall for dinner, my hair sticking up in all directions, but in a good way.

I got dressed also, nothing too fancy, but a nice black dress with lace in the back, the lace stoping before my lower back. The sleeves were short, and the dress itself wrnt above my knees. And I wore my black lita boots. I sat down at a table, and ate quietly by myself..

I glanced up at her and rose an eyebrow. Why so fancy? It's just dinner. But she does look good.. I looked back down and finished eating quickly, then I listened to a girl talk about her sex addiction, which made me uncomfortable.

I glanced at my outfit as I ate. I guess it was kind of fancy. But, better than being slobby looking.. after dinner I just chatted with people. And I lookrd across the room to see Justin being talked to by a .. very slutty looking girl. I read her lips, and the things I thought she said were grody. I looked at him, and smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow. He didnt look happy there.

"So... If you wanna.. Hang out sometime, my door is always unlocked." She finished, touching my knee. I flinched and moved away from her. "You might wanna check for diseases first." I said, and I got up and went to the rec room to play pool.

I chuckled again to myself at his reaction. I went back to my room and got my gym clothes on. I headed to the big gym this place had and worked on my volleyball serving and what not. This place wasnt bad..

When I went back to my room, my parents were there, waiting for me. "What do you want?" I growled. "Don't you DARE give us that tone." My mother hissed. My father just looked at me threatingly. "We want to know if you have repented." My mother said. I shrugged. "Nope. I still have lunch with the devil every Wesnesday." My mom slapped me. I didn't even flinch. She then thrust a cross at my chest. "You are such a disappointment."

After the gym, I headed back to the room, before I opened the door, I paused. I heard yelling and I wasnt sure if I should go in.. I slowly turned the handle to see Justin get smacked by a mid aged lady. What the fuck.

"Who is this?" My mother asked. I turned and looked at Elsa. "My roommate." I said. My father got out holy water and began flicking at me while speaking a Latin prayer. I knocked the bottle out of his hand and he went to hit me, but decided not to, and he dragged my mother out of the room.

I stood there in shock.. what just happened? I watched as the physco couple left and I closed and locked the door behind them. I looked up at him, confused.. "What the fuck was that.."

I shook my head. "My father is a catholic priest and my mom is crazy. I'm not perfect enough for them." I mumbled, laying down and glaring at the world.

I sat at the foot of his bed. "No. They aren't perfect enough for you.." I said, looking at him..

"My mom used to lock me in the basement when I was bad. She also used to push my head in the bathtub to cleanse me. I can't tell you how many times I've almost drowned. The beatings got worse when I started drugs. It was my only escape from reality. And things got 10 times worse when I screamed at them that I don't even believe in god."

Wow.. hes actually opening up.. "Justin.. wow.. im really sorry that you had to go through all of that.." I said, touching his leg softly.. "You shouldn't move back with them.."

I sighed and looked up at her. "I'm not. I'm out of here once I'm done with this." I said, looking away.

I nodded, and I slowly stood, and I headed back to my bed. I didnt tell the whole story with my parents. Just bluntly that they were murdered. No details or anything.

The next day, my friend smuggled me some weed and I smoked a blunt and then hid the rest. I stayed isolated, not in the mood to mess with anyone.

When I came back to the room, I smelled weed.. I glared at him, and I grabbed a cigarette and stepped out the side door..

I rolled my eyes. What a hypocrite.. Glaring at me like that and then going out and breaking the rules herself.

When I came back in, I watched him. "Just had to smoke in the goddamn room. Huh?" I asked, and I sat on my bed, and I looked at the ash that was on my blanket. I flicked it off and sighed.

I shrugged and got out my special spray and sprayed the room. "There. You can't smell it anymore." I said with a sigh. Why does she always nag?

I looked at him, then looked down.. "Sorry..." I said, meaning it. I have to let my mean streek go away soon.

I glanced up at her. "It's okay." I said, sitting up and grabbing my soda, taking a drink.

"Im just.. frustrated." I said, looking up at him. "Not with you. With myself." I said.

I frowned at her. "Why are you frustrated with yourself?" I asked.

"I keep.. blaming myself for things that werent my fault." I said. My parents.. I knew.it wasny my fault that theu died.. but I still blamed.myself.for things..

I sighed. "Well, I can understand why, with your parents and all. But blaming yourself won't change the past. But if you come to terms with what happened, and you stop blaming yourself, that'll make all the difference in the world. To you, and your parents."

I looked at him.. he was right . "Thank you.." I said softly.. "And.. my parents.. I just felt rhat I could stop the gunman. I saw the whole thing. My parents getting shot down in front of me.." I said, looking down as my eyes watered up..

I sat up and gently took her hand and pulled her on the bed next to me. "Hey, listen to me." I said softly. "There was nothing you could do. Guns will always win against humans." I put my arm around her and hugged her tightly.

I felt.. comforted.. it was a new strange feeling. I hugged him, and I took a shaky breath.. "Thank you.." I said.. "I.. just need someone to help me at this time.." I said

I rubbed her back gently and looked down at her. "I don't know if I'm the right person to help you... But I'll try my best." I said softly.

"I just need someone." I said. "And. Ill help you too, if.. you want." I said, and I looked up at him, smiling slightly.

I smiled back. "That'll be a challenge. According to my mom I'm past the point of no return."