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This was over something silly.. That just escalated to this, breaking up.. I was torn, and kicked out to then streets now. I had nowhere to go, and I was so heartbroken. I headed to the local bar, having a couple shots to try to patch what I was feeling.. It didn't work.. Awful things were said between her and I, and I regretted all of it..
I was so heartbroken that even when the tears ran out, I was still making soft painful moans, my jaw clenched, my eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out the pain. I took a lot of pills, trying to numb the pain. I even shot myself up with some heroin I got from a hooker.. Nothing was working. I'm a mess and I'm so heartbroken.
I really couldn't stand to be away from her for much longer. I was not drunk, I was just numb.. I rushed to out house, and I knocked on the door, because I was locked out.. "October.. Please.. We can work this out..." I said and I felt tears sting my eyes.. I needed her with me.. I loved her, and just knowing that the things that we said broke us up just tore me.. I hated myself right now..
I heard a knock and a drunken voice say something. "Go away!" I yelled. I buried my face in my pillow, groaning when the pills began to take effect. I felt like my body isn't even here... Like I'm floating..
"Please..." I said and I lifted up the mat, and grabbed the spare key, and I unlocked the door with it, and stepped in.. "October.. Please.. Just let me talk to you.." I said and I followed where her voice was coming from. I looked on the desk, to see a used needle. "October.. What is this?" I said, pointing to it. Was.. That.. Heroin?
I looked up at him but it looked like he had 5 heads instead of 1. I buried my face back in my pillow and groaned softly. "Its drugs." I mumbled. I feel no shame at the moment though. I used to be highly addicted to drugs and he knows that. Jake was the one who helped me stop. And now he made me start again.
(This is getting good:p )
"I can see that.." I said, and I walked over to her, I moved her onto her back slowly and looked into her eyes, they were blood shot and dialated, and she was looking around like she was lost, or blind. I was scared now.. "How much did you take?" I asked, trying to stay calm.
(Yep :D)
"I don't remember..." I mumbled. I grimaced and looked away from him. "You smell like alcohol.. Go away..." I mumbled. My body was trembling and I felt like I could pass out at any second.
"You don't remember? And I'm not drunk. And I won't go away.." I said and I picked up the phone, calling 911. "I need an ambulance.. My .. Friend had a drug overdose.. Please hurry.." I said, and I gave them the address. I soon fell on my that all this was my fault.. I sat by her and I looked at her. "Please.. Just stay awake for me.." I said, touching her arm gently, seeing the puncture wound from the needle.
"I AM AWAKE JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, grabbing the syringe and pointing it at him. I crawled off of the bed and sat in the corner, rocking back and forth, my body shaking and fresh tears running down my face.
I backed away when she held the needle in my direction.. Her words stung.. She was all I had right now, and to see her like this pained me.. I heard the ambulance pull up and medics run in. They struggled a little to get her on the stretcher and they asked if I wanted to ride with her, I just shook my head.. They walked out with her, and loaded her up into the ambulance and drove off.. I just sank to the ground, knots were in my stomach.. I just started to cry, and I couldn't stand the thought of losing her like this..
When we got to the hospital I was rushed to the Emergency Room and they had to pump the pills from my stomach and put medicine in my system to get rid of the heroin. Once it was all over, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling, my heart hurting. He shouldn't have called the ambulance. Now I'm going to get sent to Rehab.
I couldn't do anything now. If I went to see her, she would yell at me. If I called her, she would yell at me.. If I went near her she would yell at me. I just wanted to be with her now. But the argument we had broke us up.. We were doing so well, then this happened. I grabbed a picture of us off the night stand and I just stared at it.. We were so happy..
"I'm sorry miss.. We'll have to send you to Rehab.." A man said. I broke down in tears. "Please, no... I can't... My boyfriend and I just broke up, that's why I did it..." I whimpered. He shook his head. "I'm sorry-" "DON'T I'M SORRY ME! YOU'RE HAPPY TO MAKE PEOPLE MISERABLE! I JUST BEAT A FUCKING DISEASE CAN I NOT GET A BREAK?!" They put a needle in my arm to calm me down. "You don't want me addicted to drugs, but yet you give me some.... The irony..." I whispered, then I passed out.
I looked around the room, and I was just so tired of everything.. I just wanted her, safe in my arms. I wants to kiss her, and tell her everything would be alright.. But things were not alright. I stood up and I threw the picture on the bed so it didnt break, and I walked to the closet, opening up my safe, and taking out the felt box I had, and I looked at the ring inside of it.. The beautiful, diamond ring I had put most of my savings into.. And now the chances of her marrying me, ever.. Have all vanished..
A few hours later, I was forced out of the hospital and they drove me to a Rehab. More like a mental institution to me. It's one of the intense one. The place where everyone wants to kill themselves. I sat in the room with only one window that had bars on it and I thought of Jake. What is he doing right now? Tears stung my eyes and I cried in my pillow. How could he do this to me? if he wouldn't have called the hospital, I wouldn't be forced to come here.
I just wanted to know how she was doing.. I called the hospital, and asked how October was. She said she was fine, and now in the rehab facility. Rehab? But, they only put people in rehab when its their second time in the hospital on the drug, this was her first time. I asked for the rehab facility's number and talked to them about the situation. We soon came to an agreement that she had to see a counsuler once a week. And that since it was her first time in the hospital on the drug, that they would release her. I thanked them, and I called a taxi to pick her up.
"A taxi is here to get you." A man said, grabbing my arm and pulling me up. I didn't ask questions, I just went. Anything to get out of there. I should sue that man. I wasn't supposed to go. I only went to the hospital for it once..
I knew October wouldn't want to see me, so I packed a couple changes of clothes and my phone and charger. I left her a note on the door.
October,
I am staying at a nearby hotel, and I have my phone with me.. If you want me to dome Becky, just call me. And I know you're probably pissed at me for calling the ambulance, but it was your first time there on drugs, I didn't think they would make that mistake and send you to rehab.. But anyway, I'm sorry.
Jake
I posted it on the door, and I walked to a nearby hotel.
When I got home, I saw the note and I ripped it off, throwing it on the ground. "Some man you are.." I mumbled. I walked into the bedroom and saw the syringe exactly where I had left it. I sat on the bed and stared at it, itching to grab it. Why didn't he take it? Is he wanting this to happen? Is he really sorry?
The next week was pretty much shitty, and I never got a call from October. I was worried about her.. I walked to the store, and I bought some flowers, and chocolate. She would probably throw them away.. But it was worth a shot.. I took out my key, and I unlocked the door, stepping in. "October?" I said quietly. It had been a week wince the incident.
I was laying on the couch. I had the syringe and pills locked away. I was shaking slightly from withdraws. I looked up and sighed when he walked in. "What?"
She didnt sound angry.. Good sign.. I walked into the living room slowly, and I set the roses and chocolate on the table in front of her. "I.. Just wanted to bring these by.." I said, and I looked away. I knew I was still hated, and I could feel it. She had also said some awful things in the argument, so all it couldnt be placed on me..
I tightened the blankets around myself and I looked up at the TV, tears in my eyes. Seeing him right now is killing me. And I feel so guilty, for the things I said. I don't think our relationship will ever be the same again.
I sat beside her, but gave her space also.. "Hey.. Can we work things out?" I asked her. "Well.. What I said in our argument.. I didn't man any of it.. October, you're all I have right now.. I'm sorry that the argument had to escalate like that.." I said, and I saw that tears started to fill her eyes. It killed me to not have her in my arms right now
"I didn't mean what I said either, but Jake.." I looked at him and shook my head. "How can we ever go back to the way we were after an argument like that?" I asked, wiping my tears.
"I think this made us stronger.. In a way.. I think that we can go back to the way we were.. And I know it will take a little time.. But I know we can.." I said, and I looked at her.. This is what I was scared of, us breaking up and never wanting to see each other again.. It almost went that far, . but hey, it didn't,,
I sighed and looked away from him. "I guess..." I whispered. I turned off the TV and looked at him, having no idea what to do or say to him.
I slowly took her hand. "Be mine again? Please.." I said, looking into her eyes, she was shaking a little, but that was just from withdrawal.. It would fade soon. It also scared the legit shit out of me knowing that she got back on the drugs.. Hopefully, she would stop..
I looked up into his eyes and nodded. "Okay.." I whispered. I looked into his eyes for a second before I looked down, trying to control the shaking.