Cautious Love

I slowly closed my eyes, after crying for a few hours.. and I fell asleep there agsinst the door, my arm still bleeding. I felt very light headed..

I woke up the next morning, feeling miserable. I locked myself in my room, crying all day.

I opened my eyes, and I stood slowly, seeing my arms bleeding had stopped, thankfully.. I walked out and I noticed it was the next day.. I just laid down in my bed, and slept.. I still had this guilt.over.me...

I got out to take a shower and eat a banana, then I went back to bed, turning off my phone. She doesn't want to talk to me..

I slept till later that day, and I tried calling her.. I left her voicemails, full of my feelings.. and I told her what i had done when she left.. I just vented.. knowing she wasnt there. Just her voicemail.. after that, I wiped my tears and just curled up in the bed, closng my eyes..

I slept all day and part of the night. I finally woke up and sat up, sniffling softly.

I had my ohone on, by me.. as I slept. Not like she would respond or anything.. I continued to sleep, no dreams or anything.. just restless..

I turned my phone on and I listened to her sad voicemails. Wow...

I just gave up on sleeping and i sat up, and I ran my hands through my hair, im a wreck.. no wonder she dont want to be with me..

I decided on something. I texted her and told her to come over.

I looked down at my phone, and I picked it up, seeing her text. I didnt reply. I just changed my shirt, longer sleeved and I let my hair down, thinking it looked better that way.. and I headed to her home, knocking on her door. Her parents werent home..

I walked downstairs and opened the door, letting her in. "I turned my phone off last night." I whispered.

I nodded slowly, stepping in. "I know.." I said, looking down at the floor. Why did she want me over?..

I crossed my arms and stared at her. "What did you do to yourself?"

I took a shaky breath, and I pulled my sleeve up, shpwing the cuts.. "Im sorry..." I said, tears filling my eyes..

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Don't cry.." I whispered.

I hugged her tightly, my face burying in her neck. "Im sorry..." I kept whispering, remembering the disappointed look in her eyes.

"Stop apologizing." I mumbled, closing my eyes.

I took a deep breath, and I slowly pulled away, I looked down at the ground , not sure what to say.. I then slowly looked up, our eyes meeting.

I looked into her beautiful eyes and I sighed, gently taking her hand.

I squeezed her hand. And I felt my heart begin to race. "Why.. did you want me over?" I asked softly.

I looked down. "Because I missed you." I whispered.

"I.. missed you too.. alot.." I said softly. "Lets.. sit.." I said, walking to the couch, still holding her hand.

I followed her and sat down with her, watching her. I still felt so bad..

"What do you want to do.. with this." I asked her, and I looked at our hands to get the point across.

I looked away and sighed. "I don't know."

I frowned, and I sighed also.. this was awkward.. very awkward. "I.. want to give us a chance.." I said, looking at iur hands.

I looked into her eyes. "Don't you want to be with someone more emotionally stable?" I whispered, my heart sinking at the thought of her being with someone else.

"I want to be with someone whos been through alot, like me.. and thats you. I can relate to you.." I said softly, looking back up into her eyes.

I gently brushed her hair from her eyes and smiled gently. "Okay." I whispered.