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Thread: The Right Handed Writer

  1. #1
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    The Right Handed Writer

    My dreams, the tiny things I just want to point out, and identification of social paradoxes. All the dreams, I actually dreamt, all the thoughts, I actually think, and no I don't want to hear about my grammar.
    Some of it may suck, actually most of it, and it won't string together properly or make sense, but it's vivid. So don't expect anything of importance here. Actually, go over
    HERE here and play with that instead! ^__^

    ---------- Post added at 05:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:12 PM ----------

    Please Note- Content may be inappropriate for younger viewers. Contains violence and gore. In addition, time skips happened in the dream, I am not shortening my dreams at all.

    "I wake in a wagon, covered on all sides by metal. Light comes from an open door. Perspective is from the door. I am there, waking and crouched on the floor. The floor is littered in hay and dirt, reminiscent of the floor of an abandoned barn or stable. I can feel the layer of grime all over my body. There is a chain around my ankle, probably hooked to the floor, but i don't take the time to investigate. On either side of my pitiful prison is a long bench lining the length of this cart. To my left, to nearer to the door of my moving prison is a man. I feel the stirs of recognition and vengeance stir within my gut. He's talking to me, but I am not listening. I am in a bubble of silence, and the noise coming from his mouth are muffled, like through water without the bubbles, or through on the other side of a very thick wall.

    "My subconscious time skips to a jail. I whisper something in the guards ear, and the feeling of giddiness and power take over. The guards flee, and somehow my gate becomes open. I skip out of it cheerily, and head somewhere else.

    "Time skips once again. I am on a hillside, above some kind of courtyard. It reminds me of a golf field without the hills. It's pretty flat, and the grass is trimmed to uniform shape and precision. Croquet maybe? That feels about right. The queen, king, and a lot of nobility are on this yard, talking merrily. Suddenly, I am being captured. I have a sense of failure, looking at the arrows stuck in the king's miniature house. You know those houses that arabians carried their princes on? Just like that. It was red and covered in silk, except the opening where the king's face and chest was exposed. Three arrows were stuck into the the left side, one in the right, and one on the ground in front of him. I think I shot him, but I'm not sure. Guards drag me away roughly, but I hardly notice. The king has disappeared, and with it, my prey.

    "Small Time Skip again. I am lying down on the courtyard now. Nobility is gawking at me, but they stop soon enough. I turn to my left and am surprised to see a girl lying down in the kings little house, my accomplice. She was supposed to be doing something else, so I am surprised to see her caught. She is young, with her black hair pulled back from her face in a neat crown upon her head. Her eyes are light blue, and her dress a nicer that peasant but less nice than noble dress. It was grey and light blue and white. The light blue on her dress matched her eyes. The man who was in my jail wagon before is standing in front of her, talking to her. Scolding? I whisper her name "Catsa!" no response. "Catsa!" Again, no response. I whisper louder, getting frustrated. "Catsa!" She looks past him to me this times, and partially exclames in surprise. The man turns to look at me, but she taps his shoulder and grabs his attention again. She talks animatedly. Again with the soundless bubble, I can-hear nothing. I sneak behind him slowly, tip-toeing. She glances at me a couple of times, and he is slightly distracted by that, but he listens to her. Quickly, I reach forward and grab the arrow from where it was stuck in the ground, and try to drive it into his throat. I am standing behind him, pulling my arm towards myself and at the same time towards his neck. He anticipated my move and reached up to catch my hand just in time to prevent his death. For two or three seconds, we are locked together, neither of us giving ground. Finally, not getting anywhere, we yank free of each other, surprisingly in tune. He yanks the arrow from my grasp, but I held on so tightly, the arrowhead came off in my hand. He didn't realize that I still had a weapon, and that was his demise. The arrowhead dug deep into the left side of his throat, and cut across at least a centimeter deep. The most intense detail in the dream is as follows- the gush of warm and wet blood covering my hand. My out of dream self shivers, while my in dream self feels the throb of victory. He falls to the floor."

    I wake, and a moment later, my alarm clock goes off. 6 o 'clock a.m.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 08-13-2013 at 10:47 PM. Reason: Bad word choice
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  2. #2
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- June 13th- June 14th, 2012

    "My peripherals are a blur, and I am only aware of the thing in my hands. It's a violin, beautiful with a deep dark finish, and dusty complexion. It looks older than my mother even, but it has a good sound and has been taken good care of. I test the strings expertly. Though I don't play the violin, I was in orchestra and know how it's supposed to sound. Two of the strings are out of tune, so I move to adjust them, but something out of the corner of my blurry peripherals moves. The violin disappears from my hands. I turn, and start to chase the white fluffy blur that runs away from me. I realize that I'm in the Museum of Making music, when the thing darts in a hole.

    "The hole is the interesting part. It doesn't look like a hole in the wall, more like a hole in the fabric of time, like a black hole, or a spot where mass won't go. I dart through the hole determinedly. Everything goes dark, then color flares into my face like I've never seen the light before. The colors settle into a landscape.

    "How to describe it... My imagination must be a vast and complex place to hold so many details while I'm asleep. I'll go piece at a time. First, the ground beneath my feet is grassy, The grass is an unnatural bright green color, dotted my flowers the resemble this almost, but the flowers are more rounded, and are the normal greens and pinks and oranges of normal flowers. Scattered atop the grassy areas were large stands, that remind me of brightly colored science posters, that are about six of seven feet tall and one and a half feet wide. There are blurred faces on them, surrounded by gibberish words that I don't understand. These grassy areas were all about 3 or 4 feet wide, and were randomly tiered one or two inches in elevation difference, like a bad puzzle. In between large 'pieces' of grassy areas were the deep streams. They were about 3 feet deeper than the surface of the ground, crystal clear and deep blue where it collected. Under the inch deep streams and creeks were assorted colors of large pebbles, in colors of grey, navy blue, light blue, and clear. There was a lake in frond of me, where it was a deep blue, impossible blue. Logic took over, and I looked up at the sky. If it was a deep blue, then it would make sense for the water to reflect it. The sky was, in fact, a deep blue, with a few blindingly white clouds. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to locate the sun.

    "My attention was captured again. There were things flying around in the air, imperceptible blurs, plastic helicopters, oddly shaped birds, you name it. If it flew, it was flying above me, all, it seemed, with a purpose in mind. It reminded me of looking at a city, with a lot of people who would have nothing to do with each other, all on their own agendas. I turned my head a few degrees, and my gaze locked on to the thing I chased into this madhouse. It was a white rabbit, ironically. It was in a Dr. Seuss reminiscent machine, coral colored, with a helicopter top and a steering wheel in front of it. It's floating in front of a stand, with a blurry teen face in front of it. Two large hand connect from his flying machine, mixing up the gibberish words on his poster. The rabit was muttering under his breath. I caught only a few phrases, "He has an exam tommorow..." "Mixed with the stress from school.." "He ate cake before bed. Tsk tsk." I noticed a musical contraption in front of me. It was about a foot wide, iin a perfect circle, with a post protruding from its very center. From the post was a dozen or so strings that hooked to the outside rim of the circle. I ran my fingers in a circle, so that every string made its own note. It sounded pretty, like a harp. Soon, the area around me blurred again, and the teen boy was in front of me. "You're watching his dream," Something whispered in my ear. I didn't turn to see who it was, I figured it was the rabbit. The boy... I can't say what his dream was exactly about, being that this is accessible to all ages, but I will tell you this, though I probably shouldn't. The boy will be a pedophile when he grows up."

    I woke up in horror to my alarm clock screaming at me.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-20-2012 at 02:02 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  3. #3
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- June 14th- June 15th, 2012

    Don't laugh at my dreams, I'm sensitive! This one is particularly wimpy, and I will get my friend the Moderators to drop Thor's hammer on your @$$. I mean it! You don't know the force it took to type this crap down!

    "I'm walking down an aisle. It's the kind of train you see in Harry Potter. For readers who aren't nerds, I'll be a bit more descriptive. It is definitely not like your normal american city train, so get that preconception out of your head. It's a warm setting, with dark woods, and instead of a bunch of hard-ass metal benches, there are separate compartments that can hold about six people, if those six people are small, and maybe four big men all squished together. The compartments are leisurely relaxing, with walls to separate them, and even sliding doors. Lucky posh Brits. I only get these in dreams.

    "I open a compartment at random, and find... this is the embarrassing part, you see. I really shouldn't use the guy's real name, so lets just call him VX here. He's practically my longest crush. VX doesn't look up, so I jump into the compartment and give him my most mischievous smile. In return, he wraps me in an enormous bear hug. I start to pull away, but he says in a low, gruff tone, "No, I need this," and doesn't let go. Not that I'm complaining, of course. In order to understand the emotions going through my head and the reasons for the tenderness here, perhaps you should know a few things. VX and I dated, then I moved quite far away. We kept in touch, which was probably our undoing. I've known him for two years, haven't even seen him in one.

    "My brain time skips. We're outdoors now. Extremely low lighting. It's nighttime, and must be very cloudy for it to be so overcast. The night is inky in its darkness, like fog just beyond our meager bubble of light. Our "class" is seated on a three tiered platform, all laying all over each other like we've known each other for years. I don't feel especially close to these people, but I do however, trust them. It doesn't make much sense; there's a kid I didn't know the name of from fifth grade, one person from my eighth grade class, a few from my seventh grade. Most of them are intelligent, some are missing some screws, and some are just people from other dreams I've had. The thing I most notice however, is the hand that's gripping affectionately, possessively, to mine.

    "I was wondering when the weird was going to set in. Here it is! Randomly, out of the darkness, comes something that looked like it hopped out of Pokemon, Spore, Dragonauts the anime, something along those lines. Its roughly, and I do mean roughly human shaped. It has a head that flatter on top than a human's, legs that bend back like an ostrich, ending in large dog paws. Its chest and crotch are featureless. Its arms are thick near the shoulder, thin out along the elbow, and thicken again near the wrist, ending in a pair of large four fingered hands that hang nearly to his feet. Or paws. Its pale beige, with random neon tufts of pink hair. Its eyes are blank, without shine or emotion. An extremely smart and intelligent person by the name of M (to you at least) casts a spell that sounds like gibberish, a language, something. Its a long string of vowels and consonants that have no meaning or culture recognizable to my ear. It disappears, leaving a slight quiver of smoke in its wake. Banished. Something similarly shaped, but with a different feel, takes it place almost immediatley. M shouts out a different spell this time, one that will damage it. Other classmates soon join in, VX too. He shouts it with careless enthusiasm, something quite out of character for him. Soon, the creature dies, like a deflated balloon. It vanishes. Before we have a chance to cheer at our success, yet again, an odd creature appears from the gloom. Spell books are being handed out, the one I got is a bestiary. This creature is different. It's sleeker, with only tufts of fur at the elbows and 'knees'. Its coloration is navy blue, light gray, and black. Its head is larger, with eyes that have more than just a spark of intelligence in them. He glares at us, daring us to try our best. M casts a spell, but it has no effect. The rest of us has moved from our lounging positions, full alert turned on. A thought is shared by the class, 'Oh snap, we're dealing with a badass over here.'

    "Panic sets in, and kids start setting spells like wildfire. I feel the air quiver with power, the wings of our wishes brushing my cheek as I flip frantically through the bestiary, trying to find something that matched the demon in front of us. I find something, that looks like it, but something's not quite right. I study the picture further, looking for the flaw that decided if it was what I needed or not. The spells we shout out have no effect, and the thing is coming closer, ever closer. I feel myself rise into full panic, when our saviors arrive. A group of teachers, one of which was the seventh grade principal from where I went to eighth grade. The rest I don't recognize. Almost instantly, the thing disappears. I am unsure if the teachers banished it, or if it fled. Feeling safer, but still wary and vulnerable, I lean into VX's arms. Silly and irrational as I know it to be, I feel a little bit better.

    "The teachers are scolding those of us who didn't have their own spellbooks, including me. This makes me angry. If it's mandatory for your school, and you're the one who made it so, you buy it! We don't have endless pocketbooks. I mentally remind myself to tell my mom that the next paycheck needs to go to a spellbook or two. The teachers is now dividing us into classrooms. I pray to be at least near VX, but no such luck. My subconscious went against me entirely. VX got four, I managed to get eighty-five. We separate swiftly. Neither of us likes goodbyes. He jumps into a classroom almost right behind us, I make my way to a building that looks like an old warehouse outside. Through the cheap glass doors, I enter a mall type setting, with doors at intervals with numbers above them, and a random fountain and pond in the middle. This area extends farther to the left, and T's off to another section. The ceilings are high, and I take notice of the bridges that tell me that there is a second floor. I don't need to go much farther, room eighty five is right in front of me. The classroom is large, with a long whiteboard at one end, and it's filled with round white tables surrounded by short chairs. I quickly sit at an empty one in the back, and am soon joined by a female from another dream, but whom I don't know in awake life, and a male friend from eighth grade. They're both the rule breaking type, and I wonder if that's the kind of class I've been put into. I look to the teacher who has a desk at the back corner of the room. She looks strict, and is hunched over something at her desk in concentrating."

    At this time, I have to shake myself out of my dream. I can hear people calling me lazybones outside my door, that means it must be time to get up.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-20-2012 at 02:02 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  4. #4
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- June 15th- June 16th, 2012

    I had a long, hard day before this dream, so it's noticeably shorter than the others. Bear with me.

    "I wake, floating in the air above my bed. Let me describe my room for you; its a small room, with a queen bed taking up a lot of the room. The closet and bathroom doors are on one side of the room, with about a foot of space in between. The other side has my caddy-corner desk, and the window that has a purple blackout curtain pinned to it to block out the light from the twenty-four hour lamp outside. My desk is always littered with sketches, notebooks, jewelry, sometimes glasses of old water and candy. My bookshelf is on the wall in between my desk and my closet door, overflowing with books. To the left of my bookshelf is my cello on its stand, and my bead set on the floor next to that. My bed is along the last wall, and in the corner between the window and the bed is the door. My room is never neat, you can find boxes of paper trash, usually old school papers I don't need anymore, bags of other trash, half finished bracelets, backpacks and almost always clothes, littered all over my room. Technology such as speakers, iPod, cell phone, laptop, and headphones, plus a variety of chargers covers on side of my bed, while I sit on or sleep on the other. My walls have comicpalooza posters, sketches, and an Indian arrow hanging on them. Yes, the arrow could actually kill you if I stabbed you with it. Part of the reason I keep it there.

    "Like I said, I'm floating above my bed. The odd thing is that the things all over my room isn't there. My bed is made, my desk is empty, the box of papers is gone, and my books are reorganized. I can't even spot my laptop. Whatever was holding me in the air drops me abruptly, and I slide off the edge to my clean floor.

    "The scene changes. I am aware of the feeling of misplacement. My skin is semitransparent, and I almost float instead of walk, though I move just as fast as I did. I'm now in the hallway outside my apartment, accompanied by my pseudo brother. He's my best guy friend, but we keep each other strictly in the brother-sister zone. You can call him P. We look at each other, our feelings are mutual. It's the feeling I get before battling the Final Boss in video games. It's gonna go down, it's gonna go down hard, and we might not make it, but at least we did the right thing, and fought for what we believed in, you know? Two full, blonde girls are in front of us. Civilians, the people we're helping. I don't see her mouth move, but I hear her, "Good luck." She doesn't think we're going to make it. She hopes, but her logic tells her otherwise.

    "We're making our way somewhere. I can almost hear the usual laughter of children, but I can't see anyone, and when I focus on the sound, It disappears. There's not even any birds, or squirrels. It is absolutely silent. There is few others in the world, my instinct tells me. My mind is sluggish, like thinking through water, if that makes any sense.

    "I'm in an apartment now, differently laid out than my own. We step into the bathtub, it's full of shaking water. And we wait. It doesn't take long. We get a flash of a scared looking eleven year old, also blonde, holding her chest and looking at the air where we should be in horror. Then, sounds come back to our ears, and an angry father is glaring at us in fury from the door. "He sees us," I think. He waves a ridiculous looking bat at us, and swings. We run out, and I am just ahead of P. We might get a complaint, but that doesn't matter. We're back! We're back! The sight of happy children at the pool has never been such a greater eye candy. The wind on my face is a blessing, and I can't wait to see my mother."

    I wrench myself from the pillow, dream finished. My eyes are groggy and my head aches from not sleeping deeply enough. Seven thirty-seven.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-20-2012 at 02:02 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  5. #5
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Thoughts

    Religion. I know a good deal about Christianity, a little bit on Buddhist, and even less on Muslim. I have read the bible, but I don't remember the paragraph that says it's holy to send believers of another religion hate mail. If any has, please let me know so I can flaunt my bible. I can't be that unholy if the bible doesn't burn me, and if the cross doesn't sear my forehead. True?

    I agree with a lot of the bible itself, it has good morals in it, to be sure. What I dislike about the religion is the self righteousness that takes place in a church. I'm not saying that all Christians or Catholics or self righteous, don't get the wrong idea! It's just a great deal of them. I know a lot of really, honestly good Christians, and I respect them, it's just the portion of you who feel the need to shun others.

    Another thing that I don't understand; Is there really that much of a difference between Catholics and Christians? The way my friends have explained it is that Catholics are stricter in their religious practice, but does the amount of your belief really matter that much? And it seems bother them when I get them confused with one another, like I just called them Muslim. Why? I did not have a religious upbringing, none of this makes sense to me.

    And one more thing; Jews and Christians. I've been told that Jews don't believe Jesus was their Savior, and Christians do, and they split over that argument. But there has to be more to it than that. Jewish rituals and holidays are not like Christian rituals and holidays at all, so again, I'm lost here. I was too lazy to Google this, so I put it here instead in hopes of a nice Christian, Catholic, or Jew to come explain.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  6. #6
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Pointless Statments

    Alternative culture is really making an impact. I keep seeing legitimate rock & roll T-shirt places, and piercing places, at public venues like fairs. Does that mean it's too mainstream now? Where are all the anti mainstream people supposed to go? Or does it really even matter that much?
    Suppose it did matter. Do they just go hunt down things that aren't in style and make it so popular it is? That's a lot of work. People should appreciate their liberal community more, for the interesting distraction they provide, if for no other reason.

    ---------- Post added at 10:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:25 PM ----------

    Human nature is a misunderstood concept. It is not what is on the surface of consciousness, but what lies underneath, like the great currents shaping the islands of our conscious decisions. Human nature is often instinctive and primitive, possessive and arrogant, and easy to understand once you face it. Whether you understand what is pulling your decisions or not, human nature is to reach for the stars. Many people say that they are destined to be homeless, or work at a McDonald's, but they know that it is only a facade that they hide behind to avoid revealing their dreams, and dreams go hand in hand with weakness. Whether you realize it or not, you are always seeking the approval of someone else. Normalcy is the approval of those who do the average thing, good grades are an approval by teachers, parents, and a wide variety of other people, even your style is begging the approval of someone. Cutting oneself... that is something that doesn't go hand in hand with instinct, it is not the normal human's desire to injure oneself. That is born of the pressures of society, or of people whose minds are broken being too close to the said person. Perhaps it can be identified with addiction. Some people harm themselves as a status symbol, which is very much frowned upon. Some are so consumed with hatred of their self, that they harm their self as another person. Dissociative identity disorder. The most common explanation is scientific. Cutting through the skin stimulates the brain to release endorphin, which is a biological painkiller. It also eases psychological pain.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-20-2012 at 03:26 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  7. #7
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Confession

    Sometimes I wonder; What is it for? What will it be worth in the future? Is it even right?


    My smile is my bait, my words are my line and my conscious is my pole. The pond is my world, and the fish are my prey. My prey is you, helpless human beings that so easily succumb to my wordplay. They say that it isn't about what you know, it's who you know. If that's true, then I'm on the top of the world.
    I wrap key people around my fingers, and some come of their own accord. To strangers, I am nothing, but within the block of my acquaintances and friends, I am perfection in itself. Truth is so far beneath my many faces, I have trouble letting it surface. Myself is so far buried under my many lies and deceitful half truths, I wonder if my true self will ever return again. Or are the many masks of my being my true self?
    Somehow, someway, I pick up on your preferences, and adopt them while you are in the vicinity. I leave you, and approach someone else, and embody a completely different personality, one that gets along with the next victim. I can't control it. Nor can I stop it.
    My manipulations are out striding me now, where has my little lying game taken off to?
    People vie for my attention, but I can't handle so many fighting personalities. I crumble, and with it goes all my hard work, and all my careful planning, and all of my extra faces.


    Me. I am me and only me; not someone else's perfect someone. I am finally saying goodbye to the deceit and manipulation, to the friendly faces. I am done with making the world happy, my own happiness comes first now.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-27-2012 at 06:12 AM. Reason: bad word choice
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  8. #8
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    Dream- June 19th- June 20th, 2012

    I've debated and debated and debated whether or not I trusted you readers to post this dream. I've been very sentimental lately, and I'm just about done with sappy dreams. Hopefully. Anyway, here is another peek into the intricate workings of my mind through the window of sleep, enjoy.

    "The dream is almost in fast motion, with every movement twice its normal speed. I feel the swiftness of a cat, and angular eyes of an Asian, and the grace of a gazelle. I feel I've reached my inner self. I'm running down a sidewalk at night, with the matching lawns and oak trees all a deep blue shade that night brings to the world. Sidewalks and driveways pass in a reel, and soon I reach my destination. It's a large two story house, with an unused fountain in the front, and plants all around. Organized chaos. The house has a beige coloring. I quickly make my way to a tree, also oak, on the right side of the house, and climb up it with startling ease. The window is no problem, it's left open for me. I leap through and promptly land to the side of... he was in my last dreams. VX again. His arm is fleshy when he's asleep, soft, like a pillow. I fall fast asleep at his side, and be barley stirs enough to make more room on the bed.

    Many nights pass like this, elation fills my heart. My conscious sleeping self feels a level of contentedness with the dream so far. The scene behind my eyelids blurs into many series of overlapping nights, all near VX. All until one night, where my lovely dream morphs into a nightmare. The door on the other side of his room slams open, and I quickly turn over, hoping to god that I'm not about to be caught. Of course, I am caught. The door spills rich, warm light onn the pale carpet near the door, but the light does not extend into the rest of the blue-black bedroom. Her face is mapped out by the shadows from the dark mixed with the light from the hallway. Thankfully, his mother appears to not care about my nights with him, or be surprised that I'm here at all. I shrug inwardly.

    But her face is a mask of rage, and her voice is the epitome of indignation, "You're not good enough for him!"

    I frown, feeling snubbed, "Yes I-"

    She interrupts me, "You're not good enough for him!"

    Feeling exasperated, I sit up further and yell quite loudly the school I'm going to next year, and manage to get in the college classes I'm taking before college, before she interrupts me again. Her jaw sets stubbornly, an expression I've seen in my self many times, "Still not good enough." She senses my weakness here, and continues, her anger building into a torrent of rage and hate. "You'll never be good enough for him, you might as well accept it and move on!"

    Her voice follows me as I flee out the window. The branches stand out in amazing detail as I fall down the tree and break my neck on the grass below. The world fades to red."

    I wake up on the floor. It's five twenty-three a.m.

    ---------- Post added at 10:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 PM ----------

    Silence. Whole and complete without a sound. Like underwater, without the bubbles or the ache to breath. Being sealed withing a wall of peaceful quietude. Slowly, sounds break through my bubble of peace, the creaking rumble of the car, the loud horn of an angry Asian who shouldn't be driving, and finally, the smells of fast food pops it entirely. I My eyes worm open, feeling grimy for sleeping in the car. The sunroof is open, and the sky above me is dotted with stars, like the freckles on my arms. It's magnificent, and I feel smaller than myself, bless for such a sight. They twinkle and wink at me, and my brain tries to form a thousand different shapes before settling into recognizing the few arrangements of stars that I knew. I could see the planets and the colorful glow. Jupiter, Mars, Uranus and Venus, I think. I raised my finger like a paintbrush and started connecting the dots in my imagination. Line across the sky, from one planet to another. My eyes smile and my arm is sore from creating my imaginary images, but it's worth it. I go to sleep thinking about the many pictures across the sky, the smile still pressed into my lips.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-27-2012 at 06:13 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  9. #9
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- June 23rd- June 24th, 2012

    "School. The lights are dim, everything is unorganized. I'm in an office, front office presumably. A few teachers mill about with papers stacked nearly to their chubby chins, and a printer in the corner whirs with its last few days left in it. Four desks stood in the corners, with a hallway leading probably to more offices. A door was behind, as well as one on another wall. The air was dusty and moist from hard working teachers and office aides. I quickly located the teacher I felt comfortable with, Ms. Harris. Her ginger hair was straightened this morning. Another reason I liked her was because she was much more in style than the other teachers. Yes, she had to wear office clothes. No, she did not have to do her hair, apply well done makeup, not too much or too little, and no she did not have to mix and match her jewelry. I looked down on the simple schedule again. It simply had the class room number, marked with the times that that class took. Not with the teacher or the subject, unfortunately. On the line for my second period class was a blank spot. This was my problem. I looked back up at Ms. Harris. I swiftly explained my problem, leaving out the pleasantries and such. She was a busy woman, after all.

    "She looked down at my page, which paled in comparison to the large messy stack of paperwork she balanced on one hand. "We can't fix this now; Go help with Ms. Garcia." And then she was off again, waddling to God knows where. I pitied the poor teacher who she was delivering the papers to. Ms. Garcia gestured towards me, and I quickly stuffed the schedule in my back pocket and headed towards her.

    Complete scene change- It's a restaurant now. The booths are back to back, and pressed against a giant wall of glass. Two nice looking, aged men sit on either side of the booth, both with a beer in hand. On the left, the man's hair is nicely grayed, with a sexy mustache and beard. On the right is a slightly younger man, with dark hair. They have the same blue-black eyes. Father and son. The older man is gesturing out the window. My dream self turns my gaze out the glass. What looks to be a giant beer bottle is floating on a lake, surrounded by dirt, no grass in sight. Intrigued, I look closer and get a flash of the inside. It's all complicated piped and levers and balanced gases. Further in is a crew working in a hallway. Sparks come up from an open wall, and neither of them even flinch. Further yet is where the captain tells orders from a huge chair. Around him are four assistants at desks, with mics and speakers. The computer in front of them is ancient. The flash in the innards if the beer-bottle submarine ends, and returns me to the view out the window. In the distance is a city with long piped leading around it in messy patterns. Cyberpunk style. I turn my attention back to the pair at the table.

    "The older man says, "And that's how out beer company started." Kind of an odd way to start a business, after a submarine. You'd think that the submarine was built in honor of the beer, not the other way around."

    I'm busy studying the bubbles in his glass of golden brown beer when the alarm goes off and pulls me from the depths of dreamland. Seven o'clock a.m.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-28-2012 at 03:15 AM. Reason: Format & spelling errors
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  10. #10
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Pointless Statments

    Isn't it strange how we look at other people and think, "Why can't I be like that?"
    I went to the beach today, and was startled into sorrow at the contrast between my pale skin and many other teen's tan skin. I was also surprised at myself for thinking this way; I like to think myself a lady with good self esteem. So I thought about it further. I also wish I could play every instrument in the world, wish that my writing could be spectacular, wish my grades would go higher, and most of all wish that I could make a difference in this hateful and contrasting world we call home. I looked around at my friends. I have friends that write so well you can get lost in their diary entries. I have friends that ace every class without breaking a sweat. And I have friends that are musically gifted, all diverse. I realized that I strive to be like what I view to be amazing. You know, other people have much different ambitions than I. They want to surf, to raise a family, to go to a concert. So, maybe the people they look up to are much different, right?

    While it's easy to understand natural human nature, it is hard to understand individuals. I bend and contort my mind around and can't fathom the low aim some people have. I want to change the world; my neighbor wants to work at McDonald's.

    ---------- Post added at 07:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:33 PM ----------

    Sometimes people enjoy playing with words and turning them around to stab other people in the back. And sometimes those people stab the wrong victims. What do you do then? The first thing that comes to mind is to use tricky words once more. But that would contradict you, so that is no longer an option. That leaves honesty, and pure honesty.

    Honesty is a window to the soul. Honest people speak their mind and do not expect to be shunned for it. Honest people often have long tempers, because hey, they were just being honest, no need to fret. Sometimes, I wish honesty came easier that embellishment or false faces. Once you start, however, the truth without contortions comes easily.

    Did you know that low self esteem often leads to lying? I deny ever lying; lies are not my game. But I do embellish, and instigate, and manipulate. Could that be a symptom of a tiny ego? Or am I thinking too much?
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 06-29-2012 at 06:11 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  11. #11
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    Dream- June 30th- July 1st, 2012

    This is pretty comical in comparison to some other dreams I have, yet I feel that I can derive deeper meaning from this. Little things, like the side of the road I was walking on, the eyes of the burglars, my apparent subservience, does not follow the pattern of most of the dreams I have, but only in a category I dream of very rarely.

    "It's my day off from the job. The clouds and a dull grey, and fog stands out all around me. there are tall buildings coming up on my left, with unremarkable glass windows and an extreme feeling of vacancy. I'm walking down a remarkably calm sidewalk, when my employer, who is on the phone at the end of a crosswalk, appears out of the thick fog. She's awkwardly pressing the phone to her ear with holding bags upon bags of things, and a thick winter coat. I don't remember the exact words, however. She hands me a pale, raggedy shirt with massive tomato stains all over it, and the keys to her car. I get the idea; I'm her servant. I do her washing and cleaning and drying and folding. Surprised that I have to work on my day off, but too submissive for much other emotion, I take the keys and shirt and head to her rich apartment's parking lot on the wide, gray sidewalks that remind me much of New York, if there wasn't any people.
    "Her car is similar to a convertible Cadillac, with an engine that purrs like a tiger. It's painted pure white, and has been recently waxed. This God-Car fills my mind a blots out the laundry duties. For a few hours, I'm lost in cruising around and exploring the limits of her cylinders. I've managed to get sunglasses, and I feel like a total bad-ass for a while. Finally, I rouse myself from my car-gasm-ing self, and stop the car nearby, and am walking down the sidewalk once again when I run into my boss, who stops me and is furious and expasperated with my not being done yet. "What have you been doing all this time?!" she asks. I feel ashamed and sorry for a moment, and scurry off to do my job, repeating apologies.
    "I walk into her apartment, and a detailed image greets me. The lighting is contrasts warmly with the weather outside, and wall lamps with colored glass are scattered evenly. There is a small foyer to begin with, with vauge pictured, and hardwood floors with vintage looking carpets. It's not a bad place, but it feels a bit cramped, though not exactly in a bad way. Homely and soft.
    I toss the tomatao-stained shirt on the top of the basket, and am finishing up dividing the clothes into colored piles, when I hear a sound, and quickly duck behind a decorative desk near the foyer. Two men saunter, both unshaven with daft looks in their eyes. They scan the expensive furnishings and colorful paintings and grin at one another. The smaller one goes to inspect the rest of the apartment, while one keeps watch at the door. I watch the smaller of the burglars move right past my hiding spot, and smell the pot radiating off of his clothing. He goes into the bedroom. I grin to myself. I know he'll be a while with the extravagant jewelry. I watch the man guarding the door for a few moments, judging his strength, planning my attack. I needed to act fast, while they were separated. I sprang from my hiding place deftly, and swung my left fist with all the force I could muster, into the man's right temple. His light blue eyes blinked a few times, and rolled around a bit, telling me that he was dizzy. That merely dazed him, he would rouse soon and kill me. I swung the other hand, this time into his other temple. Perfect landing."

    Mom opens the door to my room, checking on me perhaps. Maybe I was making noises? Light floods into the room, and miniature alarms go off in my head, rousing me. Nine eighteen a.m.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-06-2012 at 02:54 AM. Reason: Word choice, details, etc.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  12. #12
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    Story of- BRAVERY

    My best friend's grandmother is in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed a little over a year ago, and is living out her last few days at home, with a two personal nurses. Her husband, we call him Senior out of respect I suppose, is alive and well, if a little forgetful at times.

    Her eyes are sallow and sunken in. You can barely see the color in the irises when she's awake. Her hair is wispy and short, nearly all white. Under the blanket, you can see the definitions of her ribs, and her pelvic bone, but her fleshy waistline is practically not there anymore. The white and blue hospital blanket bunches and folds around her legs, leaving the contours of her knees and such unknown. Mouth is always wide open, sometimes she cries out softly in pain. Breathing is irregular. If you sit and watch her for a while, and breath with her, your lungs will burn for air. That is how weak she is. Could this be the same person who took me to church a year ago?

    The fourth of July. America's birthday, celebrated by nearly everyone in the USA, and probably some outside our borders. Senior insisted that a massive fourth of July celebration was necessary, and who is going to argue with the man whose wife is dying? The fireworks were amazing, fantastic. We sported our burns and put of happy grins and invited fifteen people. The food was delicious, and the show was the brightest and largest in the neighborhood. But no festivities in the world can hide the pain and sorrow the family was feeling inside. I helped my dear friend K out with the emotional support, and her little brother is too young too understand completely, so that wasn't a problem. But there was five other family members there who were hurting, and plastering a happy smile.

    When we returned K after a night of talking and cheering each other up, after I sat back down in the car, the tears came, unbidden, and unwanted. The sorrow and the pain, the wanting to help and the inability to do so... It's horrible, unfair. Why did her death have to be prolonged? Is she in great pain? I was too cowardly to ask.

    I personally congratulate and mourn alongside that family. Watching and waiting while a loved one dies, jumping at every ragged breath, and biting back the tears and putting up a strong face, is a kind of BRAVERY that few can manage. Thank you to the family that has given me insight, and role models to look up to.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 01-02-2013 at 01:38 PM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  13. #13
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    Dream-June 6th- June 7th, 2012

    This dream is actually a memory that I relived from my childhood. Not the first time I relive this memory, won't be the last. I don't understand what happened that day. I probably never will.

    I am drifting, endlessly, peacefully. Air brushes my face and arms gently, soothingly. Vaguely, I can feel the eyes of bystanders, and felt the grayness of this world. The grass beneath me is welcoming me in its open arms, and the fence is the only thing that stands in my way. Curled into my fetal position, nothing matters, all is calm and opaque.

    Abruptly, smacking in the fence removes me from my endless flight. My friends rush to my aid, but I'm fine, just shaken.

    ---------- Post added at 09:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 PM ----------

    I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and looking forward to pleasing someone new. I love to mess around, and to do nothing, and to pretend. I love to play, I love to socialize, I love to argue, I love to be right, and I love to learn from when I'm wrong. I watch other people say how horrible their life is, and how they wish that it was over. Life is not something to be hated or feared, it's something to enjoy. You only get one life, if you think that it's horrible, fix it yourself, instead of complaining. No one is going to fix your life; Stand up and FIGHT for what you want, look at stories from other angles so you don't feel so screwed over. You never know what you might find if you take the time and energy you spend sulking and put it towards something productive; something fulfilling.
    Formulate your own opinions, and take pride in your mental effort. Work so you can play. Love to be loved. And keep moving forward. If not for yourself, do it for the people you can help, for people to look at your example and say, "Wow, look how far he's gone from where he started!"
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 01-02-2013 at 01:39 PM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  14. #14
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    By Jeydon Wale

    "I think I’m okay to talk about it now. It’s such a weird topic in today’s society and will no doubt come off as a bit of a shock to most people, but that’s cuz not too many are educated on it. I think I wanna help change that. I’m hesitant… Not to help try and change the way people see this, but taking on that main role. Not too many individuals “come out” to the internet where they have thousands watching and reading their stuff everyday, to share something like this.. there being a huge chance people won’t understand. Which they won’t. You won’t. Unless we share the same experiences… But I’m putting myself out there anyway. I want people to stop harassing and abusing people over this. I want people like myself to know they can be who they are. I used to have a separate YouTube channel dedicated to talking about this back in 2008. I thought it would help me but I really didn’t like talking about it. Still don’t. But I want to now, even though it’s frustrating to try and deal with the close-minded folks who can’t see past someone’s surface. People need to start being more humane, have feelings. And stop worrying, we’re all misunderstood.

    I’ve read numerous posts and whatever else people put on the internet, about me and what they THINK they know about my past life and I’d just like to say that 98% of it is inaccurate. I know they know that, but I’d just like to clear that up for you. It’s like one of those messages you pass along to the person next to you in a circle, and by the time it gets around to the last person, the message is all screwed up. All they’ve done is gather information they’ve read from random sources. They don’t know me. You can’t write a biography about someone without talking to them. You know nothing.

    Honestly, the easiest way to put it, regardless of all the terms that are used today… I was born in the wrong body. I was born physically female. But that’s not who I am or who I ever was on the inside. The term clinically used is “transgender” but it’s such a mis-used word and I don’t use it to describe myself cuz I feel put into a category when life already threw me into the wrong one.

    Your body is here to hold the person you are inside it. It doesn’t matter what changes on your body, whether it’s your hair colour, length, if you have a piercing, get a tattoo, whether you break a bone, lose a limb…. who you are will always be who you are. Your body is always changing anyway. How do you know if you’re a girl or a boy? You don’t need to look down to figure it out.

    Your gender and your sex are two different things. Gender is between your ears (your brain) and sex is between your legs. When you’re being developed, your brain and your body are on the same track. You develop a body that would match your brain. Usually, your sex matches your gender. Usually, you are born happy with your given sex because it matches your gender. Usually. Okay…picture yourself in the body of the opposite sex. Don’t think about it, picture it. That body doesn’t match up to your brain, does it? If you’re a girl, do you like the idea of having a deep voice, masculine features, hairy body, etc? If you’re a boy, would you live your life as a female? Your own set of breasts, high voice, small body, etc?

    It’s not just that you would feel awkward, it’s the role you’re expected to play, even the name you’re given. I don’t get why people deny transgender as possible, there are lots of things that go wrong when a baby is being developed, what makes you think something like this can’t happen? It’s another physical birth defect. You can’t tell someone who they are inside. You aren’t them. Just like someone can’t tell you who you are. This jumps into the whole “you can’t help the way you are born” so I don’t understand why people think it’s hilarious to point fun at someone who’s unhappy with their body. Or in any situation. And in this one… it’s not just the life I’m living but myself to the core. Unhappy. Looking into the mirror and seeing a completely different person. My whole life. How does one express themselves when they don’t even see themselves?

    Most of my life I wasn’t living. I could get into details of emotion… but not right now. “Being lead through someone else’s life I was given” almost sounds like a fucking joy ride, so that waters it down way too much, but it felt like all I could do was watch. Make no sound. Just watch. When you’re born all lined up, you don’t know what it’s like to have to try and convince someone you’re a boy when your body says girl (or convince someone you’re a girl when your body says boy.) Consider yourself lucky. I was afraid to speak up and say “I’m a boy.” I knew how society worked, I knew it sounded foolish to say opposite of what people saw. Like pointing at Green and saying it’s Red. Or better yet, pointing at Pink and saying it’s Blue. You don’t know what it’s like to try and explain to your Mom that you aren’t her daughter, you’re her son. To have her look you in the eye and reject you over and over, fight with you about the way you feel. For years, having her basically tell you that you aren’t who you really are. Hearing the words from your Dad that he would never see you as his son. To have your family against you when it’s something you can’t even help. Having a bad relationship with all of them cuz they see you differently than you see yourself. It’s like a huge joke life played, except it’s not even close to being funny. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have chose this. Who would? Who would want to feel like this? People have insecurities as it is, but mine is my entire being… insecure about the person other people in the world would see me as. Granted, I’ve done my best to present myself how I feel, and I don’t mind how I look at the moment…but underneath it all, I’m not comfortable.

    But I’m also not afraid to be who I am. Which is why I’m now open about this. It’s really nobody’s business but my own, but it’s my choice to make it public for this reason…. Thousands of people like me commit suicide every year because of harassment and being completely unhappy with their body.

    I was pretty low and unhappy in highschool because of harassment. All I ever did was let the boy I am step out. I mean no harm to anyone, probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I’m nice to everyone unless you give me a reason not to be. Not to slap myself with compliments but I won’t be an unnecessary jerk. I like to give and make people laugh. Just take people’s mind off everything and give them something to watch to do so. My craziness. But it’s hard to cope going somewhere that makes you even more uncomfortable than you already are in your own skin… I won’t get into absolutely everything I dealt with, but I was harassed to the point I couldn’t stand going to school, left and found alternatives elsewhere. I’m sure if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here today… I couldn’t deal with everyone else’s bullshit and how they thought I should live my life on top of having no family support at home, on top of not being comfortable in my body…where am I supposed to feel safe?

    YouTube has truly helped me feel like I can be myself and be accepted. Be crazy and not have to worry what people think because they don’t know my “history” or past to alter what they thought. This might change a little now that people will get a dip into where I come from, what I’ve gone through and what has made me the guy I am today. But hopefully this will also maybe shine a light into someone’s life and let you know you’re not alone, that there are options and ways to help you live your life fully and be who you are, regardless of what life presented you at birth. I encourage everyone to be who they are and I wanna help give people the strength to do that. Maybe this will show you, truly how much I don’t care what other people think of me, not even my parents, and that I’ll continue to be me. Always. Maybe if I can do it, you can.

    I have better family support now. I feel loved and accepted by each of them. Only recently 2010 did I start feeling this way though. There have been tons of events off-camera that nobody on YouTube knows about. As much as you saw me laughing and having a great time in my videos, the complete opposite would happen that you wouldn’t see. I did my best to hide the tough crap I didn’t feel like letting go on the internet. Not to say shit doesn’t happen time and time again now, but it’s hard to let the rest of the world know what I go through when I don’t like to think about it. I don’t know how reading this affected you, but take note that this is MY life. This is what I’ve gone through and go through… but I’m gonna see that my fans and supporters are just as supportive now as before. I haven’t betrayed anyone by keeping this to myself before this, just like anyone wouldn’t tell the world something personal, but I’m letting you a lot closer than you were before as viewers. Because now you’ve read and know something deep. Something different. Maybe something you’ve never heard of before. But it’s there whether anyone likes it or not. Whether I like it or not…

    The next time you think the way someone else has to live their life is amusing, put yourself in their shoes. Listen to their experiences, hear what they have to say about what they go through because everyone has struggles and some, as you just read, are out-of-this-world different. Situations like the one I’m in bring so many people to suicide and I want to help stop that by reducing the amount of hate we get over it. When people don’t understand something, they either make fun of it or get mad at it. Hopefully I can make a stand and help both sides. There’s still everything I didn’t say in this post that you don’t know about, but maybe I’ll share it with you at a later date. I’d like to think this first revealing shows some courage and bravery.

    for those of you who better get your facts straight, my LEGAL name is Jeydon Whale. I was raised a girl, but born to be a boy. And that I am. A boy.

    peace fam."


    This was written by a youtube sensation. I admire, respect, and hold him among those who deserve better than what they were given.

    http://walejeydon.tumblr.com/post/5887525518/me
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  15. #15
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    Part One

    This castle is large and drafty, made of stone upon stone. Warmth comes from the windows, but the cool stone smothers any heat that might reach farther in the house. The doors are further lined with stone, with rounded tops and oddly shaped handles. I flip around, and the image shakes back and forth or a moment. I stop to listen. A distant roar of fury greets my ears. It has started.
    I race down the circular staircase, with long, flowing hair flipping around behind me. When I exit, I am in an extraordinarily green yard, with trees visible some ways off, and some sort of tennis court to my left. I wheel around the corner to come face to face with a hostile foe. She's Japanese, with her hair in twin braids. It looked anything but cute, somehow it added to the menacing expression on her face. A roar sounded once again, from behind the court. We locked gazes, and ran past each other, knowing it would get us killed to battle now, and not from each other.
    Around the next corner of the castle was a huge yard, with no bushes or trees to cover you. But, off in the distance, maybe one third of a mile away, was legal tree cover. If I made it, I would have time to prepare. If I didn't...
    I glanced both ways, looking for any sign to tell me my decision was a bad one, but set off running the shortest distance to the treeline anyway. The wind blowing through my hair was exhilarating, and the air boosted my adrenaline. before long, I felt like I was flying rather than running. That was my mistake. My momentum went faster than my feet could carry me, and I stumbled and went flying. Chiding myself for losing my head, I leaped to my feet and dashed off once more, keeping my ears open for anyone that might have seen me in my delay. Luckily, no one had. Or so I thought.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-09-2012 at 03:36 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  16. #16
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    Thoughts

    There are so many things in America I want to repair, or improve. A lot of it goes back to corruption and thirst for money. Money... What is the point of money? You can't eat it, use it to defend yourself, or do anything with it. Bartering seems to have much more value in it, in comparison to using green slips of paper. When you sell something, you get something of equal value. It saves time. But then you have to look at large corporations. What would they pay their workers with? Whatever they dealt with, I suppose. For example, oil companies could pay in gas and, well, oil. High end clothing lines could pay in clothes, or spare cloth. And in turn, you could trade those for other things you need. I don't understand why the money system was put in place at all, even when it was coins!
    Oil. The price of oil turns up the price of gas, and that turns up the cost of everything else in the United States. Transportation is expensive, and transport of goods is major in the US. I'm not an expert, but could the oil companies rigging the prices be responsible for the current reccesion in our economy? If so, jesus christ, we're all fucked because of them.
    Nikola Tesla. I've read a lot and watched a lot on him and his inventions. That alone could polish corruption quite a bit, and help the economy. But his form of electricity would bankrupt electric companies, so his inventions weren't funded.
    "Later in life, Tesla made remarkable claims concerning a "teleforce" weapon after studying the Van de Graaff generator.[130][131] The press called it a "peace ray" or death ray.[132][133] Tesla described the weapon as being able to be used against ground based infantry or for antiaircraft purposes, stating:
    Tesla gives the following description concerning the particle gun's operation:
    [The nozzle would] send concentrated beams of particles through the free air, of such tremendous energy that they will bring down a fleet of 10,000 enemy airplanes at a distance of 200 miles from a defending nation's border and will cause armies to drop dead in their tracks.[134][135]
    In total, the components and methods included:
    An apparatus for producing manifestations of energy in free air instead of in a high vacuum as in the past.
    A mechanism for generating tremendous electrical force.
    A means of intensifying and amplifying the force developed by the second mechanism.
    A new method for producing a tremendous electrical repelling force. This would be the projector, or gun, of the invention.[136][137]"
    -Wikipedia
    Do we have this weapon? This is phenomenal, yet I've never heard of it!
    There are other works of his I adore, for example, rotating magnetic field. It's much more energy efficient than Einstein's generator, because it has one constant energy field instead of producing many fields in a short span of time. Another work invented by Nikola Tesla, is an energy field that does not need to be transported by a conducting wire, you can merely put an antenna in the air, and get electricity. But it would not be controlled, like through a wire, so it was rejected because it would not make anyone money except the average person. It's amazing, Tesla is my idol because of the efficiency and the individuality of his unused inventions. In addition, Tesla ridiculed Einstein and pointed out different ideas of his that came from early century, little known scientists, not his own mind. Whether or not his accusations are true, I'm not sure.
    Enough of science. I doubt any of you are still reading, lol.
    People in general. The average person is so easily swayed, he/she does not make their own opinions, but parrots the words of another. No one has ambition anymore, a child who wants to make a difference is so rare. Even my friends, who want to be engineers or doctors, or biologists, don't think about doing something amazing with their life. Sure, a doctor saves lives, and engineer makes amazing things, and a biologists discovers things amazing. But you are still following orders, instead of clearing a new path for others. It's no amazing if the idea didn't originate with you, or if you don't have the ambition to make your dreams a reality.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  17. #17
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    Pointless Statements

    Is withdrawal from a person logical? No, not at all. Does it happen? Some would call it debatable; controversial; questionable. But the unmistakable tug on the heartstrings and the ache in the soul tells otherwise. After a period of time spent with a loved one whom I hold dear, I leave to resume my life of cleaning and work. After a few days of seperation, I feel a sinkhole in my chest, that saps all that it touches. Soon, I drag my feet, my every thought is of his laugh, his smile, all him. Him, him, him... such a simple word, yet it holds such meaning to many different types of people. A god, a father, a boy. Or simply a word used in everyday life, or in everyday writing.
    I had my dose of him today. Tomorrow I will be rejuvenated; buoyant; joyous. Th day after will be normal; logical; measured. And the third day will consist of me poring over his pictures; his words; his emails. Dying for a sentence; a word; a letter. I wonder; I fear; I anticipate that I'm clingy, but I compare to other female's constant messaging, and I shrug it off indifferently; uncaringly; aimlessly almost.
    At least this time it's someone with the same three day pattern.

    These are my pointless statements, hoped you enjoyed them.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  18. #18
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    Dream- July 17th- July 18th, 2012

    I don't particularly expect this to be understood by the eye of someone who doesn't know me and where my past is. It's intricate, and personal, which is why I have no problem putting it online. None of you will get it anyway, lol. Enjoy another nightmare of mine.

    "I'm in a courtroom. The ceiling rises high above my head, the seats are wide, and the steps are as tall as my thigh bone. No... I'm just ridiculously small. I curl up on my knees upon the chair to see over the podium. To my right, across and aisle, stood another podium. A shadow of a man I once called my stepfather stood, grey and translucent as midnight clouds. Tentatively, I turned my gaze to the judge. A man in his mid fifties, with balding grey hair and a sagging chin, starred down at my accusingly. His eyes burned into my soul with superiority and hatred so raw, I turned my face to the floor in confused shame. Behind me, the steady murmur and drone of whispered conversation only heightened my tension. Outside of this dream, I clench my fists and curl my toes; a reflexive habit that developed from strong sudden emotion or shock. My conscious wriggles itself deeper in the nightmare, instead of resurfacing like my sharp fingernails urged it to.

    "Out of nowhere, my once stepsister stomps into the room, flinging open the doors and marching near the podiums where I stood. She was furious and angry; yet she knew her anger was misplaced and childish, I could see it in her eyes. She would never admit it, though, I know her too well. For now, lets call her "CN".

    "CN's thin blonde hair swooped around her shoulders while she screamed into my face in rage, "Why did you have to take him from us?! This is all your fault! You could have kept quiet! You should have kept quiet! I'm stuck with that bitch of a mother now, because of your selfishness!" Every word stabs me like a shard of glass to the chest. Tears fill my eyes, and I agree with her. I know what's right on the surface, and according to the rest of the world, I did all that was expected of me. But underneath... how much of that will effect CN's life? How has my "right" decision ruined the lives of several other people? I fear the answer, more than I fear the question itself."

    I wrench my masochistic dream self awake, and lie shivering under the blankets for several hours before sleep claims me again. This time, sweet and peaceful, dreamless and tender.

    ---------- Post added at 08:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:52 PM ----------

    Oh my god, I just realized, I hit two hundred views. Yes!
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-20-2012 at 07:26 PM. Reason: word choice, spelling
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  19. #19
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    Dreams- July 20th, 2012.

    I didn't get to sleep until about three a.m., and was watching the Batman movie marathon until then, so I believe that is why my subconscious concocted these strange dreams. Yes, dreams, as in multiple.

    "I'm in an indoor amusement park. Most people think that because it's indoors, you don't get much thrill because of the limited space. Oh, you are wrong! They can be just as dangerous and exciting. No bunjee or freefall, of course, but the lurching and the swinging back and forth is quite enough for most people.
    I'm with someone I don't recognize, and a few others. We go on a lot of rides, always with this thin, gangly, blonde person with a thin face. I feel a strange element of familiarity and annoyance- maybe exasperation- towards him, and reluctance to being around him.
    We go on a ride that flips and twirls my stomach and body a little too much, and we stop for a break. Walking around the endless room, we locate the friends we entered with on a ride we'd ridden before. I walkaway for a moment and my eye catches on somebody I used to know, before he moved without telling me anything! I'll abbreviate him to DJF.I pass him without saying anything, choosing to wait until he notices me on his own. I stare at the sky, or the roof, I suppose, waiting a few moments, before returning to the blonde boy I'm with here.
    Then he goes wild. we came here as friends, I'm sure of it, but he makes a show of hugging me deeply to his chest, trying to kiss me. In hindsight, perhaps he had a little much to drink. But I fight him off by pushing him away and growling angry statements. People waiting for friends to get off start to notice, and DJF is among those people. He steps near us, and the blonde boy practically vanishes. Before I reassess what to do next, or even get my spiking emotions in order, I'm in his arms, hugging him in thanks. The first words out of my mouth are, "Where have you been?" When I clearly remember being angry at him. "

    Part 2


    "The world is white. I see nothing right, left, behind me. It is endless in its capacity. The air is crisp and clear, with no taste or flavor. The temperature is so even, I don't feel any chill on my arms or heat in my chest. In front of me, a transparent barrier separates me from the other half of the world. Have you ever seen the youtube video, Draw with Me? Similar. But the glass is flexible, and ripples, and it extends as far up as the eye can see.
    On the other side of the glass, VX stands. Remember him from other dreams? Same guy. He is distracted by something, staring off into the distance, locked in thought. I kiss the glass where his face would be, and it ripples outwards. A low hum starts and fades with the ripples, like the touch of my lips started a noise as well. Several seconds pass. He looks startled, then kisses the glass again. Delay, but not his own. he looks back out into the distance, thinking. I tap the glass. Again, it takes several moments for him to respond, only because of the delay, like... like a text message. When I reach this conclusion, the dream ends."

    Part 3

    "I'm in a large room, tall white ceilings and floors and walls. Windows line either side, with experienced faces in white lab coats staring out at my creation.
    In front of me is a machine. A wide, round, silver barrel, about two feet in diameter, is supported by X shaped frame, also light silver in color. The inside of the barrel was a dark grey, being that it wasn't powered up. I motioned to my assistant on my left, she hits a few buttons, and the machine lights up with pale blue lights. The barrel comes apart into two pieces, both round. They spin slowly in opposite directions, the inner barrel a bit slower than the outer barrel.
    Through the double doors behind me, comes a warning tone. A moment later, our patient on a hospital bed comes through the double doors. Her face is gaunt, her arms and feet, or what is visible of them, is pale and thin. A good deal of her body is covered in greyish blue moles, and irritated red skin. She looks at me, dead in the face. Her eyes... in place of her eyes are deeps holes, a grey vacuum of nothingness. Smoke swirls out to touch my face, but she is rolled away before I could feel the cool touch of the dying. I notice that no one is pushing her, her bed is rolling on its own accord. "

    To my displeasure, my alarm goes off and grabs me from my dream. I was dying to know what happens next!
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-23-2012 at 03:08 PM. Reason: why do you even care? XD
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  20. #20
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    Dream- July 22nd- July 23rd, 2012

    This is a particularly long and detailed dream, maybe a bit cliche. I feel like I got the idea from somewhere, not sure where exactly.

    "I'm sitting in a ditch. Behind me, forest grows thick and muggy with vines and untold, hiding, creatures as mysterious as the deepest oceans lurk under inches of moss and moist plant life. The air is heavy, dripping with moisture, and the sky is grey-yellow with overcast pollution and acid rain. The street in front of me is paved, and absorbs the moisture well. A tank rolls in front of me, roaring with the sound of grim blood and war. Men march past, with skin reminding me of those native to Korea. Their clothing was army green of the american military, and their weapons were menacingly large. as they marched past, my old, weary body dashed across the road with surprising speed. I followed the scattered group northeast, when the wails of an abandoned child caught my attention. I followed the cries to a moist puddle beneath a large leafy plant. The child was little over a year old, with thin dark hair and dark blue eyes. His features were delicate, and he was much too thin for a baby of his age.
    I took pity on his shivering, frightened form. I took him into my arms, and folded him into the little heat I had in this cold, moist climate. He quieted, perhaps sensing his new mother.
    I don't know how long we stayed there. The days blurred together in a string of grenades and tanks, of wet and cold, of the baby sneezing and coughing and crying. One day, I looked down on his sick and tired face and thought," I can't do this to him anymore. He won't survive another month here." And set off to find better places. I went southeast, to Riften. (I have no idea why my subconscious stole a city's name out of Skyrim)
    The road there was rocky and worn, but the soil went from wet and slimy to drier and lighter. The trees lost their vines and moss in place of thicker bark, and the grass grew everywhere. Birds and squirrels chattered, and I caught glimpses of deer. It was much warmer here, with the sun shining down with warmth. It was much unlike where we were from, and it was utterly deserted.
    We came upon a square pond , that was dug way into the ground, but was lacking a god deal of water. Six platforms of wood, strapped together with lightly colored leather, stood, tierd, side to side. The child was much older by now, but lost the full use of his legs from his childhood illness.
    The child leapt on his hands to the first and lowest platform, on the left side. He looked delightedly across his new playground, a wide grin across his delicate face. Out of the trees came three children, a little larger than he, dressed in black fabric that only revealed a strip across their face where their angry and animalistic eyes stared out of. He took one look at them, and launched himself onto the next platform with his hands. Two more came out of the trees above, landing directly in front of him on the platform. They regarded him menacingly, approaching slowly. The child curled his tiny fingers into miniature fists, prepared to defend himself. I stood rooted to the spot, transfixed.
    On one of the two higher most platforms appeared an old Asian man, with a carefully trimmed mustached that hung in two long strips near his chest. He barked something I didn't hear clearly, and the five ninja kids backed off a little, before vanishing on the edges of the forest.
    -DreamTimeskip-
    The child is sparring with one of the ninja children now, looking happy. I spoke with the old man. I tell him how I found him, and about the illness that keeps him from using his feet. We agree to let him stay here, for rehabilitation, while I scraped up some cash for their group. We shook hands on the bargain, then turned to watch the child- my child- handle a small sword while sitting crosslegged. He seemed to love it here.
    -DreamTimeskip-
    It is many years later. Now my child looks to be about fourteen, maybe fifteen. They relocated to a sanctuary high on a mountain, but being as the mountain is in a deep valley, there aren't any snow capped peaks. I enjoy the expanse of a view for a moment before turning to watch the sparring. Master was sparring my little one, though my little one was not so little now. He had a mess of dark hair, that was naturally messy. His eyes were a deep ocean blue, sparking with intelligence and youth. His skin was smooth and tan, but at the moment it was covered in sweat, dirt, and grime. A prominent feature was his eyebrows, which were thick and angular, making his eyes look intense. Another was the clef chin that developed as a result of loss baby fat. The greatest change, was the regained use of his legs. He looked almost nothing like the frail, fair child I rescued long ago.
    He was sparring with the Master on a circular stone platform, that was at the edge of a cliff. The sun was setting, casting an orange glow around them. I felt my chest puff with pride.
    -DreamTimeskip-
    The place is the same, but this time it's early morning, and my child is a strong young man. He's sparring with the Master again, but their blows and parries are twice as fast as the last time I was here. My child suddenly ducks and rolls behing the Master, and puts the dull point of his sword to the masters back. And so the students defeats the teacher. He is grinning with pleasure, the Master laughs out loud."

    I open my eyes blearly to the warm sun streaming through the window. It's much to late to still be asleep.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-25-2012 at 11:07 PM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  21. #21
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    So what if I have freckles?
    So what if I'm too skinny of too chubby?
    So what if I'm too short or too tall?
    So what if my hair isn't perfect?
    So what if my acne breaks out sometimes?
    So what if I have ginger friends?
    So what if my crush sees me in ridiculous pajamas?
    So what if I'm insecure?
    So what if I'm young and stupid?
    So what if my dreams won't come true?
    So what if my grades aren't all A's?
    So what if my fashion sense could use some improvement?
    So what if I'm not always completely honest?

    I'm me. And that's something you'll never be.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  22. #22
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    Dream- July 26th- July 27th, 2012

    Just for the record, this is totally not the way I remember my last day of eighth grade. And the gang I'm hanging with doesn't have the attention span or care enough to walk and talk with me like in this dream. Strange. My subconscious has more faith in people than I do. Also, I would NEVER let him drive while I'm in the car.

    It's the last day of eighth grade, but the school is nothing I remember. It's huge, even bigger than the enormous school I already went to. The front of the school had an expansive yard with meandering brick walks and colorful plants, and trimmed trees. Kids walked around calling out to one another gleefully, and holding this or that folder of yearbook tightly to their chest, or under their arm. The sun was high in the sky, but it was nice and cool out, which is a miracle for southern weather. To my right, SC and his group of D-bags are sitting around on the brick benches, listening to hardstyle. I tune into the music, walking past them, when SC calls my name and asks where I'm headed. I tell him, home. He offers to come with me. I warn him away, saying he'd half to walk back. He doesn't care. And that was our conversation before heading off.
    A brief scene of walking across the grass, before it changes to the tunnels.
    The tunnels flex into rooms and hallways, but I memorized the quick way to my house. It looks like it might have been made for a sewer system, but was never used that way before. The walls are surprising clean. It's really dark in here, but I'm prepared with a foot long blue flashlight, with a squishy rubber button. ^^
    We argue over music, sex, love, and teachers, flipping through topics quickly. Sooner than I'd usually allow myself, I'm laughing and enjoying myself.
    We get to the car in the tunnels. It's our cherry red mini cooper countryman. For god knows what reason, I let SC drive. The topic is back on music again, and this time it's dubstep. I'm not a huge dubstep fan, haven't really explored, and I'm talking to some huge fans here. There's a steering wheel on both sides of the car, and they have USB inputs in them. Strange, right? Well, apparently not for me. I plug someone's iPod into the- ahem- steering wheel, and turn up the volume, and we're rocking out when I see a flash of light ahead.
    I flip off the volume, the lights, and crouch low, watching. I see the flash again, so I get out of the car as quietly as I can, and sneak up to the doorway ahead. Its only when I get out that I realize we took a wrong turn, and the mini would never fit in the next doorway. I'm ditzy sometimes.
    To my relief and to my shock, it's just my mom ahead. I remember that I was supposed to wait for her at school... Oops. Another ditzy moment. I quickly talk her into waiting while I go back to warn away the guys. Even if we were just hanging out, she would kill me if she knew I was hanging out with so many guys instead of girls. And I let one of them drive!
    I get back to the car, and whisper to them urgently, "You have to go, now!" I have to say it twice to kick them into action. SC is the last to leave, giving me a slight nod of his head, before they disappear into the dark. ((In hindsight... They didn't have flashlights... Could they see?)) I perk up as I hear my mom coming through the doorway, with a lantern. They left just in time. Mom scolds me for forgetting as we get into the car... I feel guilty, immensely guilty. She drives the mini cooper like she's in Grand Theft Auto, diving it through a square vent in the side of the tunnel, into bright evening daylight, and onto a ridiculous service road, on a seriously huge hill, incredibly steep and wide. Busy marveling in the daylight, I forget to close my door, and fall out of the car and onto the grassy shoulder. I get up and jog away from the road, throwing my hands up at the back of the mini cooper forced to drive away on this one way road. "She'll double back," I decided, and headed up to the T intersection behind me. A few minutes later, a red mini cooper pulls up, behind an icy blue mazda, and I get in, huffing at my idiocy.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 07-28-2012 at 10:22 PM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  23. #23
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    Dream- July 27th- July 28th, 2012

    Warning- Content may be inappropriate for young viewers. Contains gore and violence.

    "I'm playing a video game, Fable II. I'm in the village, with myself and my homeless sister running down a street. The colors are red gold and brown, the sunlight dancing off of the dust in the sky. Ahead is a group of people crowded around something, looking at something. I looked up to my sister, and her messy braid running down her back. I trusted her with my life, and would die and kill for her. She's all I've got.
    Scene change. Around me, red specks of magic glows warmly. Over my ringing ears, I can hear the a man muttering angrily under his breath. Then a loud shot rings out, and my sister falls to the floor. Bits of flesh cling to the gaping hole in her chest. Blood begins to pool around her dead body. The jump of shock and pain in my throat is overwhelming, I choke back a sob in my sleep. I turn my face to the man, fury sparking, ready to release the inner beast on the man who murdered my sister. Before I can go after him, he lets loose another shot, into my own chest. Glass splinters and breaks around my tiny body, and i feel blood running from the wound in my chest as well as the cuts along my back. Wind whistled around my ears, and my hands and arms shook and moved against the unwelcoming wind force. Then I land, and I feel the sickening crunch of bones on bones on cobblestone, and pain. Tears run freely down my cheeks, but I'm unable to do much more than that. I'm consumed by grief, and briefly I have flashbacks of when I've had a similar loss, or felt another's loss.
    I see my friend's grandmother, TC. She cries out briefly, before settling back down. " Her eyes are sallow and sunken in. You can barely see the color in the irises when she's awake. Her hair is wispy and short, nearly all white. Under the blanket, you can see the definitions of her ribs, and her pelvic bone, but her fleshy waistline is practically not there anymore. The white and blue hospital blanket bunches and folds around her legs, leaving the contours of her knees and such unknown. Mouth is always wide open, sometimes she cries out softly in pain. Breathing is irregular. If you sit and watch her for a while, and breath with her, your lungs will burn for air." It's the same scene I've described before, burned into my subconscious and conscious self both.
    Next, I see her after she has passed. TC looks the same, without the breathing. She passed with her mouth and eyes open. Her stillness isn't the only thing that rings of dead. The light in her eyes is gone. She won't ever blink again. It's strange how we can tell a dead human from a live one instantly, without being told or looking at their chest for breath. Their soul flickers out, their very presence of living vanishes without a trace.
    Scene change. I'm many years older now, staring down at the man responsible for my sister's death. He's on the floor, sprawled. His eyes look wild, scared, pitiful really. I'm dressed in a navy blue suit with coattails, and white pants. My hair is slicked back, and cut short. I can also feel the unwelcome pressure on my chest, probably wrapping over my breast. I have a katana in one hand, the other curled into a fist.
    I looked down on his weak, broken form... and slide the katana in between his ribs, heartlessly. It cuts in easily, no effort to move it through his heart. Blood begins to pool over his chest, and his eyes stare up at me shocked and angry. Then the light flickers out, and he's gone forever."

    I wake up to my fists curled around the bedframe, clawing at the wood.

    ---------- Post added at 09:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:11 PM ----------

    I just wanted to thank everyone for the views on this melting pot of a thread I made, I did not expect any attention for it at all. I appreciate the attention ^^
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  24. #24
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- July 29th- July 30th, 2012

    "Around the world, I see death. Politicians fall to the floor and die, as simple as that. No cause of death, they simply stopped living. Chaos breaks loose; If you can't trust your next breath, what can you trust? Bombs, everywhere. Every second building has an explosive planted; they all go off on the same day. Crime rates fly, but who is paying attention to statistics right now anyway?
    Five out of the 7 continents disappear, leaving Antarctica and Eurasia. Civilized people turn barbaric, fighting each other in the streets for everyday items. The world is falling out of my grasp. I see an expansive city now, hidden in a large patch of clouds. Most of it is stone, rising to a hill crest in the center. Water pours from several spots of the edge. A name pops into my head, "Equestria" ((Yes, even my subconscious is a brony!))
    The view changes again, To me. I can't see much, it's blurry and dark, but I do see long dark hair, probably belonging to me. I'm in a grey hallway. I pause, listening. Nothing meets my ears. I set off at a run down the hall. Nearing a red door, I shove it open with force. On the other side of the door is a sort of a cafe. A long bar is on the left, scattered tables in the middle, and a large glass wall on the right, overlooking clouds. Then an airship crashes through the window.
    Glass flies everywhere, and I see a slice whizzing past my right ear. Tables overturned and snapped, and roaring in my ears was deafening. Metal creaked and snapped, and the bottom of the ship scraped against the metal floor and threw up sparks. I held up my hand by instinct, but the sparks were nowhere near me. I feel my out of dream self throw her arm up as well.
    Blackness. I see nothing, I feel nothing, I hear nothing. A tingling sensation in my abdomen gives me the feeling of falling. I begin to hear again, screams and crashes. Heat tickles the front of my face, and my neck hairs stand on end. Smoke and blood meet my nose, as I realize I'm laying down on a hard surface. I open my eyes, and instantly regret it. They sting with smoke and dust from debris, it actually reminds me a lot of allergies.
    Ahead of me, I see the airship again, but I get a better look at it this time, The hull is dark grey, with scattered cyan dots, sensors perhaps. They'r connected by light grey lines, and occasionally, I see them flash cyan, like delivering messages. The ship has made a large hole in the wall, and glass was scattered everywhere. "My city... what has happened to my beloved city?" I'm a bit surprised at the thought in my head, I've never had much attachment to places.
    Scene change. I'm in the throne room, my head bowed in respect to the queen. Smoke makes a haze everywhere you go, from burning earth below and the burning city above.
    I'm assigned to documents. I have to run over the city looking for the missing papers and such, hoping to god they didn't fall to earth. I run to the lower part of the castle. The colors go from greys and blacks to purples and reds. An aged woman that made me think 'Librarian' greets me, and directs me to the lobby. I walk in uncertainly. To my right, are couches and tall black bookshelf. To my left is a large, empty desk, and further on is an archway. On the opposite end of the room is s a pair of double doors. I spot a paper caught under the door, and I start to jog that direction when VX walks through the doors, grinning widely. I rise my eyebrows curiously..."
    ...When the dog jumps on the bed, and stirs me from my dream. At just the right moment, no less.
    Yes, I will edit later, It's not as neat and crisp as I would like it to be.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 01-02-2013 at 01:50 PM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  25. #25
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- August 1st- August 2nd, 2012

    "I'm a sunny wood. Grass and moss grows thickly, and the trees smell warm and clean. The ground is usually uneven, and very hilly. Ahead of me, I hear a brief scream, familiar. Alarmed, I head to my left. A uniformed man dressed in navy blue runs at me with a net. I growl, and run the other direction, but his bulky self is faster than he looks. He catches me in seconds. I feel the pressure of his muscles on my shoulders. He whispers, so silent I barely hear him, "I'm sorry" his voice sounds tight with remorse and guilt. I feel bad for him, but I kick and yell anyway, to get away. It doesn't work
    Scene change
    I come to in a large metal room, several football fields wide and tall, all black metal. Lined up in rows, large men covered in tattoos and scars surround me, looking totally still.
    Scene change
    I'm furious. I feel the anger burning into my chest and searing my eyes, which I'm sure are shooting lasers right now. I look up at one of the larger men, burning a hole into his eyes, "Why haven't you tried to escape?!"
    He's confused my rage. Angry, shamed, and confused. "Does it look like escape is possible to you?!" He spreads his arms out wide, indicating the room that seemed to go on forever.
    That did it. Apparently, being the only woman here, I would have to escape myself, and prove that it was possible, before the men did anything.
    Scene change.
    I'm scaling a wall. Somehow, I am scaling a perfectly flat and smooth wall. I start to loose momentum when my hands hit the handhold I was dashing for; a wire placed perfectly horizontally rather far up. A camera hangs halfway between the floor and the distant ceiling. I leap from the thick wire to the camera, and land just above the camera. Lucky me. I look around from my perch, and see a hole in the wall, made of crude blue stone and dotted with patches of moss and glowing mushrooms. Grinning from ear to ear, I make a leap for the entrance and my hand catches a knot of wiring above the entrance. Information flashes before my eyes. I see the men again, looking at the camera in despair, holding a large white card with numbers on it. Information scrolled to the left of the screen and on the bottom of the screen. Name, ID, age, weight, blood type, social tendencies, jailed for. It flashes through many people before my hand lets go. Somehow, when I come to, I'm back at the cave entrance, lying on my stomach. I get up; yell as loudly as I can, "ESCAPE IS POSSIBLE!" through the entrance, hoping they could hear me. Then I turn, and run through the twisting, turning caverns of the tunnels.
    Farther into the caverns, the ground starts to lean downwards, and the ceilings and walls get farther away. Soon, I enter a cave of sorts. The ground turns right at a ninety degree angle, and a couple dozen feet down, extends left and slats downwards to a cave floor. A dozen feet across from where the ramp meets the floor, it goes back up in a symmetrical manner. The rock here fades from grey blue to tan like sandstone. My attention is turned to the exit on the other side, and in my peripherals I see a sputter of fire. I sense rather than see something huge, crouched down and rippling with muscle. "

    Sunlight streams through the window in front of me. It's a pity light wakes me so easily, I was enjoying the dragon slaying direction the dream had taken.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 08-13-2012 at 01:55 AM. Reason: I like raaiiinnnbooowwsss!
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  26. #26
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- Date unknown

    So. Do you sometimes do something, or hear something that triggers deja vu, and suddenly you remember a dream you had some time ago about that very same thing? I do. This is one of the good ones. It was triggered by a song on the radio, and I got a brief flash of the dream before my eyes with each lyric I could sing along to correctly. The song is Savior, by Rise Against.

    "It kills me not to know this, but I've all but just forgotten
    What the color of her eyes were, her scars or how she got them."
    A grey mask, surrounded by emptiness. My view zooms in for a closer look at the empty eyes. The holes flash green, gray, blue, before returning to the original view. I take not of its smooth, plastic curves. Like a mask for a masquerade, or a drama mask. The mouth is set in a line, blank and unappealing. Next, I see the back of a curvy, nude woman. Her back is covered in short, thick, white lines, like stab wounds. The woman turns, and I get a flash of blonde hair, before it changes again.
    "As the telling signs of age rain down, a single tear is dropping
    Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten."
    Grey rain falls from a grey sky. The only color is the reflections of peachy pale skin in the raindrops. The rain slows and stops, leaving the sky dark and resentful. I return to the mask, but aged wrinkles are there now, and the mouth is curved downwards and slightly open. The eyes curve downwards on either end, and a tear runs from the corner of its right eye, down to wet its lips. The holes for eyes pull on my sympathy, and briefly I feel the emptiness of being alone, the overpowering feeling of self-inadequacy.
    ------------My brain skipped a few lines------------
    "So tell me now if this ain't love then how do we get out?
    'Cause I don't know!"

    A man's face. His face is young, but overly wrinkled and shaded, like the muscles on old statues of angles under great pressure. His tears streamed down his cheeks, disappearing under his chin. His short hair was messy and damp, making in wavy and stick up in places around the edges. His eyes were blue, and wide with anger and insanity. At 'I don't know' he put his fists to his head, and attempts to tear out his hair at the roots, his knuckles turning white with the effort.
    "That's when she said I don't hate you boy
    I just want to save you while there's still something left to save!"
    In the background is a dimly light room, and the front of a large stuffed chair, covered in deep green cloth and studded with brass. The room dances with the light of a fire, presumable from a nearby fireplace. A woman with luscious black hair and creamy skin stares me in the face. But remember, in this dream, I'm only witnessing, so she's really staring through me, at the man whom I've described before. She has her arms spread out, thin and graceful, but her fingers are spread out in anger and frustration. Her eyebrows pull upwards in the middle, and her eyes are shiny from tears, though none mar her face yet. Her mouth is open, moving with the lyrics on screen. At 'left to save' she throws her arms down, and the tears begin to fall down her high cheekbones.

    ------------My brain skipped a few lines, again------------
    "That's when I told her I love you girl
    But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have, oh, oh."

    It's the man's face again, but his unreal amount of stress lines have disappeared, and his tear are drier that before. It's zoomed close on his face again, and he seems younger. In the background, his arms are raised as well. His lips dance with the lyrics of the song, and on the second line, his expression changes to something I would see on someone shrugging, though I can't see his shoulders, I see his arms move upwards, palm raised to the sky, as if to say, "Oh well, you're on your own." He turns his face away now, utterly unconcerned.




    I lied.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 11-24-2012 at 04:00 AM.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  27. #27
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Thoughts

    I don't see you yet you stand before me. I don't understand your game, your play, your move. Your eyes are a slate, your posture quite prim, yet your speech speaks another story. Are you here, or there? What is your reason? what's behind that false smile and hollow laughs, is it malice or sorrow, anger or pity? I don't understand.

    Intriguing, intriguing. No one who knows you is as perceptive as I. To them you are average, boring even, to me, you are a puzzle waiting to be solved, a clock begging to be repaired, a person who needs unraveling. Like a knot that's been stuck forever, you hide your true self in a tangle of rehearsed acting and daft phrases.

    My hope for progress is fading fast, approaching its horizon quicker than the moon. Perhaps you simply are and airhead, a balloon, a loony toon. I watch and wait for your wrong move, your mistake, your ctrl+z. Will it never come? Am I truly wrong about you? Or have I met my match in wits, in brains, in cleverness?
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  28. #28
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Excuses and apologies of mine...

    I am very sorry that I haven't posted in so long, or edited like I said I would. School is starting, and it's been a major rush to cram in all the last minute socializing I'm going to get before I have to start working my lazy butt off to keep up with the advanced classes... And strangely enough, my bed is too soft! I don't dream when I'm at home! I need to take off some cushion to start catering to the dream readers again, so give me some time to get resettled, please. I thank you very much for wasting minutes of your life reading this big long paragraph, and for reading my forum, and I hope to entertain you more in the future!
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  29. #29
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Dream- August 12th- August 13th, 2012

    Minecraft. Yes, I play video games a lot, and Minecraft was my video game this week, so it entered my subconscious sneakily and wormed its way into my dreams. If you don't know what minecraft is, look it up and you will get an idea of it, and of the setting I was in. Unfortunatley, I was sleeping on my ridiculously soft bed last night, so the few snippets of my dream that I remember are tantalizingly incomplete. This is all that I remember. Sorry for the unfulfillment, I promise to dream better next time!

    "A blurry image fades into view. I'm in a minecraft house. Someone's broken and bloody body lies on the floor, but the only thing visible is its arm, leg, and some of it's torso. It seems to be the basic "Steve" skin. The floor is paneled wood, lit by glowstone, or a fireplace, I can't tell, they both cast a yellowish light somewhat brighter than a torch alone. The edges of the image are smeared like someone tried to wipe paint away. This fades out of view, and I stare into blackness for a moment."

    This is the next part of the dream that I remember.

    "I'm walking out of a cavern. Ahead of me, noontime sun shines down, and an uneven grassy stair step leads out into a grassy field. A flower sprouts of of one step, a patch of dried grass out of another. A morbid, but cheery though echoes through my skull, "We're going to catch the killer now! The murderer will pay!" I'm suddenly aware of some comrades at my flanks, and some further back. I feel like a total bad ass. "

    My mom opens the door, informing me that I have until 6:20 to be ready to leave. It takes me a few moments to shrug the chains of the dream and comprehend what she's telling me. This is where I lose my dream, it's only when i turn on the warm light of the bathroom that snippets of the dream come back to me.
    Last edited by Hiuknowme; 08-14-2012 at 01:51 AM. Reason: "Die, potato!" "Not today!" -POW-
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

  30. #30
    Clumsy Apprentice Hiuknowme's Avatar
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    Pointless Statements

    Pain

    It starts as sorrow, laced with shock. As it grows, so does your sobs of grief. The ache in your chest becomes a knot tied by anger and fear, cutting into the soft flesh of your soul, and leaving you raw, lacking the usual cover of composure and serenity. You’re not thinking about the process as you’re captured by the current of the emotional tidal wave, of course, all you can feel is the sting in your eyes and the pain that feels like a gaping wound in your chest, gushing like the tears on your face.
    YOUU!

    STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP---

    shhhhhhh......

    ..........................

    ......

    ...

    can you hear them?

    .....

    the voices?

    the voices of the characters you've killed?

    ...

    ill tell you a secret...

    THEY WHISPER TO ME


    ....................
    ..........
    ...

    they sow me beautiful seedlings of stories whispering leaves across asphalt blank as snow fallen in---


    SHHHHH!--

    LISTEN!....

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