I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm okay." I mumbled, looking up into her eyes. "It's gonna suck tomorrow. I think chemo is worse than the cancer itself."
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I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm okay." I mumbled, looking up into her eyes. "It's gonna suck tomorrow. I think chemo is worse than the cancer itself."
"Can I be here with you when it happens?"I asked as I sat down in the chair at her bedside, lifting her hand to my lips and kissing her knuckles gently.
I shook my head. "No.. Only my dad will stay. It's mainly just radiation. You can visit afterwards but it'll be gross. I'll be puking and losing my hair."
"You're still beautiful to me,"I said with a soft smile, giving her hand a squeeze.
I smiled weakly and ate some more ice chips.
I sat with her for a moment before leaning up and kissing her lips gently. They were cold, but soft..."Sorry, I couldn't help myself..."
I smiled gently. "It's okay. You'll never know if it'll be the last."
"Hush, you're gonna be fine, we all will be,"I said softly, squeezing her hand and kissing her again.
I smiled. "We don't say that anymore. To be able to cope with it, you have to embrace the possibility that I may not make it."
"I know, but as of right now, today... Everyone is okay,"I said with a smile, brushing my nose against hers.
I smiled. "I hope so." I whispered. I kissed her gently, my hand resting on her cheek.
I let the kiss linger, because I couldn't possibly pull away. I couldn't lose her, I've barely just gotten her?
After a few minutes, I slowly pulled away and smiled. "I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad to be here,"I whispered softly before sitting back, smiling at her sweet, sickly face.
I smiled and ate a few more ice chips, before I began to get tired. A nurse came in and said that visiting hours end in 10 minutes.
I leaned in, kissing her again,"Let me know when I can come back, okay?"
I nodded. "Okay." I answered, smiling at her gently.
I gave her one last kiss before exiting. I honestly could not lose her..: when I got home my dad had most everything at least in order. He was filing divorce and kicking her out... We would remodel the house and start a new life...
The next day I started chemo. My mom took one last beautiful picture of me. When chemo time was over, I sat in my room, puking, my hair already starting to fall out.
I knocked on the door and walked in slowly,"Hey lovely girl,"I said, trying to brighten the mood. She looked miserable.
I sighed and looked up at her. "Hi..." I whispered, taking a sip of water.
I sat down beside her and rubbed her back in soft, small circles. She looked so, so miserable.
"You really shouldn't be here. It's so gross." I mumbled. I coughed once, and then I grabbed my bucket, puking into it.
"It's worth seeing your beautiful face,"I said softly, kissing her head.
I sighed and put the bucket to the side, drinking water and putting a few sticks of gum into my mouth. "Thanks." I mumbled
I kisses her softly,"You're welcome... Anything I an get for you?"
I shook my head. "No." I mumbled. I didn't dare look at myself in the mirror. I'm sure I look like shit.
"Come on... A hug? A kiss? Nothing?"I asked, pouting playfully. I wanted her to smile...
I hugged her lightly, careful to keep my distance in case I got sick again. I felt like dying. How could this happen?
I held her close and sat beside her, kissing her cheek. She looked miserable... I just wanted to make her feel better...